LOVE is what I want more than anything. I’m 50, but look like 40, even less; I meet women under 30 who are interested in me, but I never pursue them. 

Now again, I’ve met someone gorgeous, smart, with a good job, and 25. Does it make any sense at all to date her? This is killing me.

- Still Alone

SOMETHING is holding you back from dating women about whom you seem to know so very little. Could it be inner good sense? I hope so. 

Put your mirror away, and stop obsessing about age and appearance (yours and others). If you start allowing yourself to develop female friendships – regardless of age – and you like a woman based on mutual interests along with some chemistry, that will go farther towards love.

My dad’s the main breadwinner, but doesn’t know how long he has his job. 

Both my sister and I will be in university next term. Dad told us to save as much as possible, and I’m contributing my work experience to our family expenses. However, my mom won’t part with the extravagant life she loves!

She recently got a new luxury vehicle, she wouldn’t “settle” for anything less. She’s decided that we need new curtains, so our house looks nice for relatives visiting this summer.

I feel guilty being associated with these purchases; I tried to refuse but she got mad, but curtains-money could be used for textbooks.

Dad’s really bad at saying “no” to her, and will change HIS lifestyle around to support this.

My sister and I have cut down on purchases, including desserts and going out with friends because we feel guilty.

I don’t know how to tell Mom to STOP. She gets mad and says finances aren’t my problem.

- Paranoid

Mom’s right, even though she’s also wrong. 

She’s correct that financial decisions between your parents are their business. She’s wrong to ask you to contribute to expenses for the house when you need money for school, texts, etc.

You didn’t invite the relatives, and the curtains are not your territory. When such requests arise, ask your father to handle them, and stay out of the discussions.

Your job is to get your education and, where possible, contribute to your own needs. IF, however, the financial situation worsens, you can suggest to Dad that he arrange for family sessions of financial counselling, so everyone is helped to face the new realities.

I’m in a relationship with a guy I dated back when I was 14 and he was 16. We ‘re now 44 and 46, dating for eight months. 

We spoke about getting married and buying a house together; he’s met my teenage daughter and my friends.

I’m conflicted because I haven’t met any of his friends, family, or his kids. He thinks I should initiate an introduction to his mother; I disagree. And he says he has no friends.

I’m ready to walk.

- Conflicted

Your guy is stalling. You need to know a lot more about him before taking any vows of real estate, or marriage. Put off talking about the future together, until you meet his children, and have a full understanding of their relationship. 

The “no friends” claim is a red flag to watch… is he more of a loner than you can handle, once you’re living together and want a social life? And what’s the real  dynamic with his mother?

You don’t necessarily need to “walk,” but you do need to slow down.

My manager’s been with the company where I’m working, for 10 years. Initially, we really got along; but I’m getting frustrated as she’s very forgetful and controlling. She tries to micromanage me and my work, and likes to take credit for my ideas, forgets why she booked a meeting and what the meeting is about. 

Is there anything I can do other than quit my job?

- Frustrated

Some workplace concepts to consider: 1) A manager doesn’t have to be your friend. 2) The best way to get along with a manager is to provide good work that helps the process. Example: The change in her manner may be because she’s getting overloaded, or has personal issues weighing her down. So offer help that serves you both, such as keeping track of meetings and agenda. Confirm with her the day before a meeting, as to when it’s scheduled and what you’ll be discussing.