I just lost my beloved dog of 11 years, my wonderful companion, and I just can’t get over the loss. I’m a senior and have had dogs all my life, however, this wonderful girl stole my heart like no other dog had. I’m trying so hard to get through this grief, but nothing is helping. I cry every day, and I just can’t seem to get a hold of this horrible pain that’s tearing me apart.
I’ve gone to shelters and put in several adoption requests or fostering, but none of the pups seem to fit, and each time I come home and cry again at the emptiness of my house and heart.
Any suggestions on how a person is to overcome this grief? It’s devastating. People who say, “Get over it, it’s only a dog,” have never experienced total devotion from a pet.
Missing her
I feel for you and know the pain ripping apart your insides. I had a dog from the time I was an infant, and when he became elderly, we got a second one to rejuvenate him. It worked and he lived until just shy of his 18th birthday. I was overseas when he passed but I lay in bed for days, crying my eyes out.
When I returned home, the second one and I became inseparable and she came everywhere with me – including to my university classes, on planes, trains and in taxis. When she passed, I was inconsolable. I pored over photos of her, found three that marked the very different stages of her long life, and created a printed card.
I wrote long personal letters to anyone and everyone who had known her, or whose lives she’d touched. It took me days, and I cried my heart out writing each one. But it was cathartic.
My neighbour’s dog passed after 13 years together and she was devastated. She swore she’d never get another dog. In the meantime, she’d been fostering a dog who needed medical attention. When it came time to return him, his original family couldn’t keep up with his meds and guess who he lives with now?
Your grief is your own. Don’t let anyone diminish your pain. When the time is right, a new fur baby will show up for you.
My neighbour’s kids are constantly causing issues. The seven‑year‑old and another kid once stole their mom’s credit card for Fortnite and PlayStation. She claimed her son wouldn’t play with that child again, yet he’s still having sleepovers.
He once tried staying at our place but has no bedtime and left when my son got tired, so I told him not to stay over again. Her five‑year‑old daughter spends hours on YouTube, leaves our apartment without a word, and never cleans up unless told. She used to constantly ask me for food until I told her mom not to send her over hungry.
The mom, a recovering fentanyl addict, often leaves them with her 11‑year‑old while working. I’ve already overstepped by fixing their decorations, feeding them, and giving gifts, but the situation is overwhelming. Their kids even tell me she calls me crazy behind my back. Having them around disturbs my peace, yet I feel guilty.
Mamma Bear
You have nothing to feel guilty about. Care for them as you can, when it suits you. According to the Child, Youth and Family Services act, children under 12 should not be left alone or in charge of younger siblings, but it’s not against the law. Decide what you can handle, in terms of helping, financially and emotionally, and set your own boundaries.
If you are seriously concerned for the children’s welfare, you could call the police or the Children’s Aid Society.
FEEDBACK Regarding UTIs (Dec. 20):
Reader – “If they used condoms, maybe change the brand or the style. Many condoms contain spermicidal gel which can cause discomfort after use. I would have a strong burning sensation when urinating after I used those condoms.
“I have also heard that some people are simply allergic to latex. Maybe also investigate the material and look for alternatives.
“The other question is if either partner ever did any grooming in that area. Perhaps there was some irritation from one or the other that was causing the irritation. Of course, cleanliness by both partners is essential.
“Maybe try drinking a glass of water before engaging in sex to help flush out after.
“I would suggest starting some investigating. Do all materials cause issues, or only certain materials? Has she investigated using a dildo or vibrator? What about non-intercourse sexual activities (oral, self or mutual masturbation)?”
Lisi – And remember to ALWAYS pee after sex.