Ever since I moved into my neighbourhood, my neighbour (opposite my home) has ramped up the outdoor Christmas lights to the point where I am having to close all the blinds quite early in the day. His house now looks like a landed UFO with plastic animals gathered in front of it. My pets bark at it constantly and I’m finding it hard to get a good night’s sleep.
As far as I can tell his decorations are not religious based. How can I broach this subject with him?
Too Bright!
Even though this question is being answered after the fact, it can still apply not only for next year and the years after that, but for any other holiday where people feel the need to decorate the outside of their homes with lights and other paraphernalia.
Before you march across the road and pull the plug on your neighbour’s decorations, check the bylaws in your area regarding light pollution. With information in your back pocket, you can then attempt a friendly conversation with your neighbour. You can start off by commenting positively on his display – whether it’s the colour of the lights, the cute figurines or anything else. And then you can calmly describe the effect his display has on your home.
By being kind, and clearly open to compromise, you can hopefully plan for the future without exchanging anything ugly that could negatively affect your living arrangement.
I work with a woman who misinterprets everything I say and/or write. Most of our communication is via email or within a group setting, such as a meeting. I try very hard to be emotive in the meetings, with hopes that she can read my facial expressions. I can’t use emojis on our office email platform, and I don’t like adding things such as “just kidding!” – it feels unprofessional.
But no matter what I do, she misunderstands, misinterprets, misreads and then so much energy is spent calming her down, re-explaining and going over everything. It’s time consuming and tedious. I feel as though I could be working more efficiently and productively if I didn’t have to worry about this woman’s reactions and feelings all the time.
How can I get out from under this uncomfortable situation?
Miss Understood
Have you spoken to this woman directly? Might you be able to have an “off the record” conversation with her? If you approached it from the position of you wondering how to change to accommodate her reactions, you may be able to understand each other better. Perhaps nuances get lost in translation. Perhaps she’s concerned about how she comes across and doesn’t want to seem unprofessional either.
You won’t know unless you speak with her. However, if that proves futile, you may have to then speak with your direct supervisor/manager/director and figure out a way for the two of you NOT to work on the same projects at the same time. Good luck!
This snow shovelling is getting me down, both mentally and physically. I’m going south for 10 days, but that’s all the vacation time I have, and all I can afford.
I’m not going to make it through to spring! Help!
Winter Blues
Winter isn’t for everyone, I understand, but I have always found that the best way to get through it is to embrace it. Dress appropriately and get outside when the sun is shining. And when the snow gets overwhelming, call in a favour from a neighbour, a relative, or hire a service. There’s a cost but it could save your body from aches and pains. You must think of your health first and foremost.
FEEDBACK Regarding holiday hubby (Dec. 9):
Reader – “I would state from the outset that she will NOT be bailing him out this time. That she won’t pick him up from the party and he’ll need to find his own way home.
“If he gets angry when he wakes, remind him of what she warned and that she’ll no longer be accepting such behaviour.
“Marriage Counselling is also strongly suggested, as well as a visit to AA, as he very definitely has a drinking problem.”
FEEDBACK Regarding drummer (Dec. 9):
Reader – “Electric drums would work perfect for this kid. Can play and listen with earphones. These electric kits have all sorts of sounds and all anyone will hear is the tapping of the drum sticks on the drumheads. I play in a band, and my drummer uses an electric kit and they work great. Can buy a good set a lot cheaper than acoustic kits as well.”