My husband has decided to start several major DIY projects around the house this month. I would be happy except these are projects that were meant to be done in the summer. The reason we agreed to do them in the summer was to make our life easy, by leaving all the windows open for fresh air, and to put any furniture or boxes out on the porch to free up space to work.

My husband didn’t get around to doing any of the projects on our list this summer and I was duly annoyed. I simply assumed they would be put off until the spring or next summer. However, the other day when I got home from work, I opened the door and was hit by a strong smell of turpentine. When I asked what was going on, he proudly mentioned that he had been stripping our drawer unit in order to repaint.

I was unimpressed. He hadn’t mentioned it; I hadn’t emptied my drawers; and I wouldn’t have agreed to him doing it in this weather. It’s freezing outside and we can’t even open the windows to air the place out! I’ve had a migraine for days!

I’m furious with him and have put a stop to most of the projects, even though they are already in progress. He’s mad; I’m mad. It’s a disaster! What do we do?

DIY Madness

That is extremely frustrating for you…. and probably for him too. Perhaps he thought he had the time and would surprise you. He succeeded in the surprise, but probably not in the response.

Sit down and talk it through with him. Explain to him why these projects were better done in the summer, in your opinion. Let him explain how he thinks he’ll be able to accomplish what he has set out to do, in what time period, and in what manner to not disturb you (and the household). Hear him out.

Now together, come up with a plan. For example, if he’s already started the dresser, get him to finish it – otherwise you won’t have useable drawers for months! If the smell is unbearable, move into your parents, a sibling’s, a friend’s for a few days and insist that he leave all the windows open. If he’s cold, that’s his problem, not yours.

Then anything else that will smell up the house needs to be put off until the weather is better. Compromise.

What did I do wrong? I got a puppy for my boyfriend for his birthday and now he’s saying he doesn’t want the puppy and he wants to break up with me.

But we used to always cuddle and talk about getting a puppy and what kind we wanted, how big, how we’d walk it together, etc. Why would anyone say all that stuff and then do a full 180?

I’m confused but I’m also in a predicament. What do I do?

Puppy Love

I guess the only thing you did “wrong” was to surprise your boyfriend with this very important and life-changing gift. A puppy isn’t a sweater you can return if it doesn’t fit or you don’t like the colour. And you can’t just give it away when you get tired of it.

A puppy – which grows into a dog – is a HUGE commitment.

I’m guessing your man wasn’t ready to commit – to you or the dog.

If you can’t keep the dog yourself, and you got the puppy from a breeder, I suggest you return it to the breeder. They will find it a proper home. If you got it online, take it to a vet in your area and ask what they suggest.

FEEDBACK Regarding juggling jealousy (Sept. 5):
Reader – “I totally agree with Lisi’s comments. She needs to differentiate between her boyfriend when he’s ‘on the clock’ and her boyfriend when he’s ‘off the clock.’

“Every server knows that ‘flirty waiters’ get higher tips. But how does he behave when he’s not working? Does he always come home to her?  When he’s working, is he just acting? If so, then don’t be near him at work.

“When I was a child, I had a neighbour who was a police officer.  I saw an interesting dynamic occur when he was working as opposed to when he wasn’t. In uniform, he was the boss.  Out of uniform and off duty, his wife ran the household; in other words, she was the boss.”

Reader #2 – “I have to ask the obvious question here. Why is she watching him at work? Who does that??”