A year after my 18-year marriage fell apart, I started dating my current boyfriend. On many levels our relationship is fulfilling and loving. He's kind, considerate, stable, generous, good with money, attractive, romantic, etc. When the two of us are alone together, all is well.

However, in social situations, things get awkward. He sometimes avoids eye contact or often talks about himself. He doesn't mesh well with my friends or family, and my kids think he's a little odd. My parents feel that as long as he's good to me, that's all that matters.

My gut is telling me otherwise, but I feel guilty for ending things especially since I've ended it several times and he keeps convincing me that we're meant for each other. Your thoughts?

Strange Feelings

Since you've ended it repeatedly, your gut is working hard to focus your mind. Something isn't right for you.... and you need to figure out what it really is, so you don't dangle this guy too long and then hurt him even worse with a final split. And, you need to protect yourself from making a mistake affecting you and your kids long-term.

Take a break - and this time, go to counseling. Probe why his social behaviour and "meshing" matters so much to you, when he's such a good guy. Ask him to consider counseling too, to find out why he's uncomfortable around these people and situations. You need a voyage of discovery rather than a fast escape.

My husband and I lost that magic. We've been married three years. I don't think we're attracted to each other anymore, and we're not happy. We have one daughter.

Disappointed

It's worth your daughter's emotional well being and your own sense of having tried your best, to find out what's really happened. It's not magic that keeps couples connected, it's communication, caring, and compassion that form the glue. Early chemistry goes through ups and downs, but you need to learn why you're unable to achieve a deeper bond.

Otherwise, you're likely to have no better chance with your next relationship, after the initial romantic "magic" fades.

I have a common fetish. Usually, a person is either into it or not, because some people might think it's gross. I'm afraid to tell my husband about it because he might think I'm weird.

I look up porn on it instead. I can live without him knowing or participating, yet I fantasize daily about the fetish, specifically him being involved in it.

Should I take a chance and tell him even though I'm sure he'll think it's gross? Or should I just rely on porn to satisfy me?

Delicate Topic

Proceed delicately. This is a secret that could come back to bite you... especially if he discovers your porn interest and perhaps doesn't approve, or feels you have a hang-up about sharing a sexual interest with him.

Yet your fear about his being grossed out may be intuitively correct. If you can discuss all this with a therapist, you might find your fantasy about your husband participating is just a wish for more creative intimacy.

Do some research and find out what others with this "common" fetish have experienced, regarding sharing it with a partner who's an "outsider."

Ultimately, I believe you'll have to share your information about the fetish, rather than have your husband learn about it without your explanation. Since it's common, it's unlikely to be alarming, so long as you don't impose it on him in an off-putting way.

My son-in-law's always late. He and my daughter arrive at major family events when they choose, not when they're invited. Anything can distract them... he's a flea market hound, she's a passive partner who accepts whatever he does.

Recently, they came to a big celebration three hours after the time, when the buffet table had already been cleared. We had to scramble around putting together plates for them and their kids.

Is there any way to get them to change, at least for others' sakes?

Fed Up

They won't change from your wishing it, but YOU can change your reaction. Try this: Tell them the start time at least an hour earlier, set food aside for the kids (they're innocent), and don't even try to feed the latecomers. Just smile, welcome them, and act as if nothing's unusual.... except that they missed the meal. It may work. Otherwise, just manage the situation.