My girlfriend and I (18-months together) had planned travelling together. Her school roomie fell into the plan so I brought my friend along, too.
After a month overseas we couldn't stop fighting. My girlfriend spent all her time with her friend, and was upset with me being angry about it.
We separated after a month - the girls from the guys. A week later she broke up with me, over the Internet.
The two girls travelled together for the next two months but I flew home after a month apart. It's been three months apart, and two months since she's home. We met up briefly, agreed we couldn't be "just friends," but she didn't want to lose me nor get back together right away.
Then, she said she didn't want to see me or talk at all for a while.
I've apologized for everything. I can see that the fighting could've stemmed from waiting to travel together for so long, then not getting what we'd envisioned. She's finally said, "I don't love you."
She still loves me. I know this. And I love her. She's my first and only love.
Lost
You're suffering from Unrealistic Expectations. You had them regarding the travel plans, especially once she brought a friend.
Now you've got it worse, by disbelieving that she doesn't love you. Since she's your "first" love, you have to grow up and face reality. She knows her own feelings. And nothing will make her more certain that it's over, than you not respecting her words and meaning.
Stop obsessing about what happened. You'll have another love in your life, if you allow yourself a healthy process of acceptance and getting past this.
I'm dating a man who has his son, five, every other weekend. He lets the boy do whatever he wants... e.g. play video games all day long on a rainy day, or while supper's served. (His son runs back and forth from the table to the TV to keep playing).
I'm not keen on this parenting technique. The dad's excuse is that the mom doesn't have video games.
He wants us to have more family time together. I'm for it IF we're all comfortable. I won't like watching junior play video games all day, or jumping up from the dinner table.
How do I phrase my concerns without sounding like I think his parenting technique is wrong? I don't feel right going into this relationship if I can't express how I feel or what I think, but I don't want him to get defensive about him and his son. He's a really good dad.
When it's nice out, they go to the park, go fishing, walking, biking, etc.
House Rules
Since you're talking about limited situations, limit your concerns. Speak only about this video game "treat" extending into the basic manners of a family meal.
You need to be able to discuss, as a couple, the basic house rule of how you eat all together, and the infrequent times when you can bend the rules for fun, e.g. a "picnic" while watching a movie on a rainy day.
As for all-day viewing of any kind, this good dad needs to look at the research on how harmful so much time at a computer and TV can be for a youngster. The latest studies can be found on the Internet.... show him your interest in the boy's well being, not just how it affects you personally.
I'm 18 and was hurt by a guy I dated for two and a half weeks. He ended it. I couldn't be alone. I still had feelings for him. For months, I'd hang out with him and two mutual friends. I always made the contact, not him.
Finally, I confessed I still liked him. He said his ex was begging for him back, and he was considering it. I've begun to move on. But is a breakup always that hard?
I didn't love him, we'd never had sex - but he was the first guy I could see myself trusting and dating.
What should I do about him? If he tries to make contact, either as friends or other?
False Hope?
This was only a taste of "feelings." But now you're wiser.... so no going overboard for someone, just in your head. This guy wasn't a real friend or boyfriend, just a passing crush.
Tip of the day:
Accept when a relationship is truly over. Otherwise, you only prolong your own pain and inability to move forward.