My friend's wife got a debilitating disease that prevented her from being sexually active. Her husband was up front, said he had needs, and wanted permission to engage in an affair.

She eventually respected his openness. He had an affair that has now lasted 30 years, and they all remain friends and neighbours. Maybe it's not the usual outcome, but it is possible. This can happen if everyone is respectful and honest.

Any "arrangement" can happen if both parties agree without pressure, and accept the consequences without feeling demeaned. The fact that friends and, likely, other neighbours knew the story seems less "respectful" of the wife, but she clearly had her health and comfort as a prime need... even greater than her husband's.

My daughter-in-law of two years never looks me in the eye, making me uncomfortable when we're alone together, as if she doesn't trust me. I find this hurtful, especially as I have a daughter of my own and would never think of my son's wife as anything but family.

Should I talk to her about this or would that be a bad idea?

Unsure

Give her time and try to not be alone with her until she seems more at ease. Talk to your son but don't press if he says there's no reason. She may've had a bad experience with a man that she and he wouldn't want to share with you. Or she's just shy with the opposite sex, until she's known you longer.

If this persists over a longer time, your wife and son should try to get to the bottom of it.

Recently my husband of 11 years decided to separate; we have four children. Our marriage had been very good until the last couple of years, we've argued a lot, and often insulted each other. We both felt disconnected for a long time. He said the separation was both our faults, and that he still loves me. I still love him, and realize the fighting isn't healthy.

I want to reconcile, but he's "not ready." He refuses counseling. He's moved back, but we sleep in separate rooms. He's an amazing father, and wants to be here for the kids. Every time I want to discuss counseling or reconciling, he gets frustrated and tells me to stop pushing him.

Occasionally, I get the feeling things are moving in the right direction, then there's a set back. At what point do I have a say? Is this healthy to live like this? Am I setting myself up for disappointment? I don't want to give up hope. I've been getting counseling for myself. I believe our family deserves another chance.

You're on the right track, by recognizing you have to do whatever you can, to contribute positively to this second chance. With four children involved, every effort is worthwhile! And, after all, it took two to fight and be insulting, so he's not the only one who needs to examine why.

Do NOT push; do NOT try to become his therapist second-hand. DO tell him when you gain insight as to your own part in the formerly tense relationship. He'll see how you're taking some of the responsibility and some insights may occur to him, as well.

Proceed gently, and don't rush the process of re-connecting. It took some time to develop what must've been mutual anger and disappointment.... all somewhat natural in the early years when a household (and marriage) become dominated by the needs of four youngsters.

I've been a single mom of two for seven years. My son, 18, has been in trouble. I've stood by him. He's been dating a nice girl for three years. But he's lied a lot and disrespects me. Overheard: She said, "You think your mom's a bitch and does nothing for you."

I don't know if he's on drugs or what. He doesn't care about anything.

Distraught

He may be abusing drugs or alcohol, but he's also angry, hostile, and unhappy within himself. If there's a respected male figure about, encourage a connection between them, and also a medical check (for any health issues, plus substance abuse).

He cares about his girlfriend; so get her onside to have him talk to someone for direction in his life.

Then, insist he pay some rent, which means getting a part-time job. Explain that the independence he wants starts with responsibility and structure.