I was seeing a younger guy for five months on a casual basis and thought I was getting to know him well. Recently, he commented about how inexperienced I was, given my age (early 40's) and gave me doubts whether I'd see him again.

So I found an online contact of his and asked this lady if she was "making him happy." Then he calls me up and angrily asked what I was doing - this woman works with him! He said I was "psycho," not to text him, and forget he ever existed.

Do you think he over-reacted or does he have good reason to act this way towards me? Can I do anything to fix this? He hangs up when I try to call him.

MISERABLE IN TORONTO

You messed up, now move on. The guy's no winner... he insulted and hurt you first. And calling you "psycho" just shows his ignorance.

But you did cross a line by contacting someone about him, without knowing their connection. Since she's a co-worker, you embarrassed him badly.

You're wrong for each other. Forget him.

Ten years ago I met someone who altered my heartbeat. The attraction was too hot to handle. Yet we're also comfortable in each other's company.
After the dust settled from our head-on collision, he'd call and we periodically go for lunch, drinks, etc., then we go on our way.

Should we pick up where we left off? Or should I just keep on playing the coffee, drinks game? He is single; I am not.

Passion-Seeker

You're lucky. Not because you found a hot lover, but because he's smart enough to have turned off the heat.

You can't go back to what it was because he's not showing any drive to do so. And you've clearly made no change in your life, when he might now want a long-term partner.

Ask yourself what it was that created the fire, and maybe you can bring a spark into the relationship in which you stay. If that's impossible for reasons you haven't written, consider why you do stay.

I go to marital counselling with my boyfriend, even though we're not married. Our relationship has always been on and off, but I think we are actually meant to be together. When we decide we're only friends, we get along great and spend a lot of time doing things together.

However, whenever we decide we're "officially" together as a couple, it doesn't work. Is marriage counseling the right thing for a non-married couple?

Wondering

Due to the repeated pattern of "on and off," try individual counseling for each of you to probe what you really want in a partner. When you have a better understanding of yourselves, you'll be in a better position to benefit from the couples' counseling.

It's not uncommon - and even wise - for two people considering getting married, to see a therapist together to examine problem areas that seem likely to arise.

But you two aren't there yet. You seem a lot more sure of a potential union that he is. Meanwhile, your friendship works so well, that he may not have the courage or even the insight to tell you that he does not see marriage as likely.

Individual counseling will hopefully make you both more sure of yourselves and able to communicate more openly and honestly.

A great friendship is worth preserving, and the counselling will help. However, a potentially unworkable marriage should be avoided.

My son is marrying a young woman who has a 12-year-old son. We all like each other a lot; everything is lovely. Her parents are still living, (i.e. the boy's grandparents).

What should he call me? Certainly not "Mrs." Certainly not "Grandma." Could he call me "Aunt" or some other endearing term? Also, what should his mother, my future daughter-in-law, call me? She's extremely conservative so I don't know if she'll be comfortable calling me by my first name when my son calls me Mom.

Still Nameless

Many people use endearing names for step-grandparents, to cover today's multi-layered relationships. I personally know of granny nicknames like Mimi and Honey, but "Aunt" is also a logical term and denotes respect for an older close relative.

Ask your DIL what she wants to call you. If you go with a neutral nickname she might use it along with her son.