I'm 42, divorced, a professional woman dating a successful businessman; I raised my children, now 19 and 18, on my own after their father left us when they were young. My boyfriend and I live separately - his adult children are married.

Friends say I'm wasting my time with him because he shows no interest in our living together and combining our lives as a couple. Yet I'm also hesitant to change things.

My first post-divorce relationship was with a confirmed bachelor who was good to me, but wanted no involvement with my children. Next, a wonderful man who loved me and my kids.... but wasn't interested in sex.

I'm used to managing on my own and worry that a live-in arrangement will feel suffocating. Yet I'm not sure what's holding my boyfriend back as well. We've been dating for two years.

Are we both commitment phobic?

Conflicted

With neither of you ready to move forward, it's enough reason to assess how long you can be happy in a relationship without progress.

You didn't mention "love" - neither you for him nor  him for you. You may have a comfortable arrangement, but you clearly don't have a driving passion or compelling attachment.

Your past relationships leave "clues": Not one of those companions was likely to be a long-term partner. It appears that after your ex-husband left, you avoided men to whom you might become too emotionally drawn, fearing the risk to your own feelings and those of your children.

That was natural then, but now with children grown and your own accomplishments intact, you can have a relationship that includes deeper connection - a love with certainty.

This one doesn't cut it. So, NO, don't move together. And do re-think what you want for the many years ahead.

Though I'm now early-30s, I'm still "the baby" to my over-protective family.

My oldest brother never discusses things with me - he gives orders. When I started dating my boyfriend, my brother was all over whatever we did, where we went, how we acted together. Fortunately my boyfriend's from a large family and doesn't get rattled - but I do!

My younger brother's judgmental, and brings his wife into it. She'll call me and start telling me what I'm doing wrong: how I dress, what I say, etc. I try to be polite but inevitably get frustrated, blow up and it becomes a whole drama in which I'm the bad guy.

How can I get my family to take me seriously?

Fed Up

You can't change your position as the youngest, but you CAN change your reactions. Start with being sure of your own decisions and not seeking advice from your brothers unless you're prepared to listen without feeling belittled.

You know how each approaches being "protective" so their responses shouldn't surprise you. Meanwhile, you and your boyfriend should first think through your plans together before sharing them.

On those matters where you know your relatives' opinions will feel critical and hurtful, get your advice from less-opinionated friends with experience, or people in a particular field.

Example: If you're adding to your wardrobe, or trying to change your look, talk to a personal shopper at a big department store. They're experienced in helping choose the right style for a person's figure and lifestyle.

As for other negative comments on what you say, think, and do, change the topic. Your family will eventually see that you're living your life your own way, no matter what they think.

I'm male, 26, invited to a former college classmate's wedding - my first. It's to be held at the bride's wealthy parents' country estate, so I figured it's a fancy event with tuxedos and all.

But the invitation says, "Dress - casual chic." I have no idea what that means and feel foolish asking my old friend.

Unsure

Universal wedding dress code: Never dress for a wedding in a way that'll attract attention away from the bride and groom. The other sure rule: Wear your confidence; it makes any choice of clothing look smart.

Since the invitation doesn't call for "formal" clothing, forget the tux image. But this doesn't mean dress-down jeans and a t-shirt. Tailored pants, preferably in a light shade and material for summer, and a collared shirt (no tie) are your safest bet. Bring along an unstructured blazer, in case it's cool or, well, just in case.