I've been in a six-month long-distance relationship; he calls me his girlfriend and introduced me to his parents. Three months ago, he left his email open and I saw he was on a dating website and messaging girls. He explained he was using it as a backup, but, if I was upset, he’d stop.
      While visiting him two weeks ago, I discovered he was doing it again! It really upset me and I said I wouldn't visit him if he continued. He agreed to cancel his membership. Yet – because I now have access to his email (he doesn’t know) – I saw he was using the website today.     
      I can't confess that I look at his emails. We’ve both said we want a long-term committed relationship, but that we need more time to develop it. I think six months is reasonable to know if you want to commit.     
      Is it acceptable for him keep his options open? He doesn't date people - he says he’s on the site in case things don't work out. I'm not sure I buy that. I’m not exploring other options while we're apart and I don’t think he should either.
      - More Upset

Six months may be long enough for you, but it seems it’s not long enough for him to feel committed. That’s his right, but you need to speak up about what you cannot accept, instead of playing detective and fuming.    
      The “back-up” excuse is ridiculously illogical, even if he means it. If things don’t work out, then he can go online - the list of available women won’t have disappeared.     
      But trolling other profiles is only somewhat different from prowling a bar - eventually, there’s bound to be someone appealing enough for him to try making a connection.     
      This isn’t about handing him an ultimatum, it’s about being honest and clear. Tell him that you’re ready for a commitment and if he’s not ready to give up on  “other options,” he can have them all. But he can’t have you, too.

My friend's husband seems to have developed a not-so-subtle personality change, or else he's starting to vent long pent-up hostility towards me.      
      Twenty years, ago I suffered a near-fatal health event while at their home. My friend drove me to the hospital, and I recovered. Now, her husband’s repeatedly mentioned my almost dying and when I visited recently, saying, “it might be interesting if it happened again."     
      He even said it in front of their family and friends. I strongly suspect he's had a mini-stroke or other health event that would’ve changed his personality to say inappropriate things. (There was another indication of his personality change several months back).     
      I’m concerned; if he’s suffered a mini-stroke, perhaps neither his wife nor anyone else has noticed subtle signs.  He’s otherwise been extremely pleasant and welcoming to me over the years. Do I mention this to my friend, or keep quiet?
      - Worried

You might be returning the favour and saving his life! Whenever someone you know displays a marked personality or behaviour change, there should be no hesitation in recommending a health check. Certain illnesses – including brain tumours – can cause such changes and the sooner detected the better.      
      Avoid scare mongering or appearing as if you’re just getting back at the husband for his insensitive remarks. Approach the topic with his wife from your perspective of concern. Mention both incidents vs. his normal behaviour, ask for her observations and urge a doctor’s appointment, fast.

I’ve been contacted by a half-sister (same mother) whom I haven’t had contact with in 40 years. I was raised by my father and moved away, while young. She wants to see me and have a relationship but I’m somewhat anxious.
      Three younger siblings also wish to meet me (different father).  I’ve agreed to meet my half-sister but am unsure about the others.
      - Apprehensive

Feelings about “new family” can grow into comfortable acceptance, if your attitude’s open. These siblings may provide you with new sources of self-knowledge as well as fresh insights into the past.     
      Yet, some of the information can be unsettling. Proceed slowly and don’t build expectations - negative or over-enthused. Meet your half-sister first and arrange to meet the others in time.    
      Building ongoing relationships should not be rushed. Get to know each one on their own merit and, I return, be upfront about who you are.