My sister has fallen in with an overbearing guy. She's moved with him to another state and has stopped being her usual self. She doesn't seem to have any of her own plans. She's lost all her friends, and stopped communicating with us about her life, and her future plans (she just finished medical school - we want her back here with us, not in some faraway state).
Her boyfriend had previously moved his wife and kid across the country so he could go to medical school, but started dating my sister while still married.
I fear he'll do the same to her once she's "the drag" he finds a wife and child to be.
She puts him on a pedestal, feels inferior to him and follows him without question.
I know she thinks coming back "home" is a sign of failure. The more I point out that she needs to make her own decisions and that her silence and secrecy make everything worse, the quieter and more removed she becomes.
She knows things aren't perfect (her boyfriend dumped her once) but I believe she thinks she has few other options.
How do I express my concerns without pushing her away and sounding intrusive?

- Worried Brother

Drop the message about your concerns - she's heard you. And stop pushing your ideas of what she should be doing.
She made it through medical school on her own merit, and though that doesn't make her emotionally intelligent, it means she's past doing whatever her family thinks is best for her.
She's caught up in an intense romance with this guy, and will only back away from it of her own accord.
She needs your support more than ever, now - rather than judgment and dire warnings - to develop the confidence to make changes if and when she's ready.
You show that support by asking how she's doing, expressing interest in what interests her, by accepting that her situation is her choice, but also letting her know her family misses her.
Visit her.
Ask questions.
Be available when needed.

I was in love for four years; we talked about marrying and building a family in the future.
However, since I've moved to live with my mom in another country, things changed.
When I said I'm furthering my education and then I'll go back and marry him, he said he can't wait that long. I said that I love him, but want to have a career so we can have a good lifestyle, but he didn't agree.
He hasn't called me since (two months) - not even on my birthday.
Then I heard that he's getting married, so I called him and confirmed it. He said I could decide to go back and marry him, but I replied that he went way too far with someone else. I still love him.
What do I do?

- Heartbroken

Continue with your education. You'll soon recognize that you've outgrown this man.
His rush to marry anyone revealed he was seeking comfort more than a mutually understanding relationship that could allow each of you to pursue your dreams.
However, it seems you didn't communicate enough with him about your personal ambitions and prospective plans beforehand, and that's a lesson for your next relationship.
Yet this man was unlikely to have accommodated time apart, given how quickly he's committed to someone else.
Do not agonize about having had to make this choice; he's made his own, much more divisive one.

I'm in my early 40's, in a two-year relationship with a man the same age. He's never been married, I've been divorced for six years. There are no children between us.
I'm ready to get married; but he says everyone he knows says marriage is "bad." He's open to living together without the commitment.
I'd have to be the one to move because I rent and he owns. He also says that any disagreement we have pushes him farther from marriage and, why "fix it" if it's not broken.
How long should I date a man who makes excuses?

- Wasting Time

Your signature says it all, and you know it. His non-committal way works fine for him; he's given you ample warning, he's sitting comfortable and secure in his own home.
If you move in, all the risk is yours, with none of the promise of what you're really after. Move on.