My husband has had a four-year affair and he’s been living out of our home for two years. I thought if I took him back, forgave him and we attended counselling together, we'd move past this.
But the affair secretly continued. The kids and I were crushed. Yet, we still have so much fun together when we do family stuff with our teenage children.
I haven’t been able to follow through with a divorce, as now he truly seems sincere when he says the affair is over. But I’m worried that I'll give him a chance again and we’ll be re-wounded by him.
Yet I’d be so sad if I have to continue seeing him being the man I knew he could be and not be with him. I also fear that he may start to feel discontented with his life again.
I’m tired of the drama. Our therapist thinks there’s significant change in his emotional maturity. I need to move on, one way or the other. He cheated when we were first married, too.
Will there be more? Has being so close to divorce changed him? Could we be the couple that went to hell and back and came out of it better and stronger, or the couple that makes repeated mistakes and can't move on?
- Needing Peace

You ALL deserve that second chance (okay, it’s actually the third one), especially since a professional therapist believes there’s improvement and hope.
The crucial elements moving forward are: 1) your husband continues therapy, on his own as well, to probe and understand why he becomes “dissatisfied with his life” (which is more about him, than about you);
2) While you stay together, you reject any feelings of suspicion and jealousy, unless there’s clear evidence of further cheating, which he understands will be the last straw. Hopefully, that won’t happen.

My divorced and remarried father shows obvious favouritism to one set of grandchildren (unlike my remarried mother who’s fair to all). All my adult siblings and both parents live in the same city.
My husband and I have three sons; my sister has one daughter, whom my father would drop everything to visit for hours; visits with us were always 20 minutes or he’d make business calls while there.
He ignored our eldest son’s graduation, even after we sent pictures. When I told him how hurt I was, he didn't say much. He never acknowledged the next son’s graduation, either.
Now, though his health is poor, he’s showing excitement about my niece’s graduation. How do I handle this situation when my sons see their grandfather’s favouritism, likely even giving my niece a graduation gift?
- Torn

While your father’s behaviour is clearly wrong and hurtful, I suspect it relates to past issues – he’s either playing out the old divisions of divorce (e.g. your mom’s the “good grandmother,” so he takes the other role), or perhaps he always felt you were more aligned with your mom.  
Whatever the background reason, you can soften the impact of all this by not stressing so much about it. Show your sons the example of generosity and fairness by how YOU treat all your sibling’s children.
When they do see or ask about their grandfather, try to connect them with other aspects of his personality that they can relate to (former athleticism? Successful in business?) And help them not take too personally his less-admirable behaviour.

I’m 16, in high school and I have this friend, it turned into a thing, a hook-up really. Then it ended and we both said we wanted to stay friends but it ended very badly and he said nasty things about me to others.
I said something but nothing like he did. Two months later, he apologized and we were good again. He suggested hooking up again, but then he said something about me again and he teases me, “jokingly.”
I just can’t seem to stop talking or flirting with him and he flirts with me. But I’m tired of being treated like crap, then sweet. I want him to stop but he never changes.
- Fed Up

He never changes, that’s the point. Learn this key lesson now: someone who treats you like “crap” isn’t a friend. The “sweet” is just to get back to what he wants … the hook-up.