Why is it acceptable for men in monogamous relationships to go to strip clubs? I don't ever want a partner to go somewhere where naked women perform sexually overt displays, flirt with patrons while wearing almost nothing, and get right in their faces, etc. enticing them to engage/pay for more.
I've been to strip clubs and know exactly what goes on. I believe it borders on cheating. I've learned that my opinion makes me seem like an overbearing, jealous girlfriend.
If you could let me know why it's alright, I could maybe loosen my mental restraints about strip clubs.
Relationships don't revolve around opinion pools. They thrive when two people can accept some similar things, compromise on others, and draw limits on what one or both simply cannot tolerate.
For you, strip clubs are a no-go zone. It's up to you to make that clear to your partner early on. If he sneaks off to them anyways, that's deception, even if he sits there innocently sipping a beer.
For you, that's like cheating, especially if he has physical contact with the stripper. For those who don't get upset about their partners going to strip clubs, and believe them that they just have a few laughs and nothing more, that's NOT cheating.
IF you cannot loosen your restraints, acknowledge that it's a deal breaker.... and move on to someone who respects those feelings.
I met a married man who loves his wife but hasn't had sex in years because she's ill. He talks positively about her as a wife and mother and has no issues other than their physical life.
I'm inclined to believe him. He's been upfront with me from the start, there's no open future for us. He's 57, married for over 30 years.
I'm 47; divorced for four years (23 years married, four children), have a career and friends. I'm currently ending a three-year relationship because I don't feel supported by that man. I want to be with someone who's expressive emotionally and believes I add to his life.
I'm curious to be with this (married) man who's so expressive. We've already crossed the boundary of an emotional affair. He and I want to be physical, but we also are not impulsive people and want to think it through.
I think I can handle that this will be short term. I'm not sure he can handle it though because he's always been honest with his wife. I don't want to wreck his marriage. Can we do this without someone getting hurt?
The fact that you're writing for advice about this tells me YOU are the one who'll get hurt. If you just wanted a "breather," you'd take time after ending your current relationship, to re-group, to examine how and why you choose certain partners who eventually let you down.
But by rushing into this limited "arrangement," you're setting yourself up to be disappointed again, even hurt.
How supportive can a man be when his sick wife needs him at the same time you do? How connected will you feel if he carries guilt, worries about being discovered, involves you in lies and complicated plans?
He isn't looking for a deeply emotional bond... even though you're presently mutually attracted and the affair seems so "beneficial." Get real... he wants and needs sex, but you want and need a multi-faceted relationship. Once this one is all about when and where, plus getting it off, it won't be enough for you.
I'm confused about my sexual orientation. I'm 19, thinking I may be bisexual. I really like men but sometimes I like women. I'm attracted to male celebrities and guys I know, but also to girls I know and some female celebrities.
I'm a religious Christian and don't know what to do or how my parents would take it. They may be OK with it.
Curiosity about sexual orientation is very common in young people. Be assured that your self-doubts and confusions are normal and that time will ease your uncertainty. Celebrity fantasies are also common, but not determining on sexual identity.
Since religion is very important to you and your family, enjoy friendships with both sexes without rushing into sexual experimentation that might make you feel guiltier than you can handle.
Real connections with males and females will eventually grow beyond "liking" into love and desire, making your orientation clear.
Tip of the day:
Make a deal-breaker issue clear, rather than maintain a power struggle.