Whenever I relax with friends, my girlfriend says I drank too much, said something that disrespected her, acted the fool, etc. 

She ruins my time with her constant “let’s-go,” and nags me the next day for things I don’t even remember doing!

- Unfair Girlfriend

Get a grip on what’s really happening here: You drink too much, and handle it poorly. You’ll eventually ruin this relationship, and many more, unless you recognize that your alcohol excess is a problem – for you and others. 

If the health risks and emotional fallout caused by alcohol abuse don’t cause you to control your drinking, get support by joining Alcoholics’ Anonymous, a proven program for living sober.

I’m 37 divorced, living on my own, but have a hyper-critical, meddling mother. 

While unemployed last year, my mother was wonderfully helpful. Now I owe her money which gave her huge leverage: She calls 15 times daily - sometimes at my new job - saying I should be thinner, more ambitious, or wearing different eye-shadow.

She says she loves me and I won’t find a husband unless I improve.

She’s also warm and loving and constantly says nice things too, always with a “but” - e.g. “You’re beautiful but would be more so if you lost weight.”

Then the guilt trip – you’re so ungrateful, I helped you out you’ll miss me when I die.

I love her and am an only child; my father left her several years ago. She’s now obsessively focused on me.

Do I deserve all this because she helped me out financially?

- At the Brink

You deserve a loving, caring, mother, which you (mostly) have. She deserves an appreciative, thoughtful daughter, which she (mostly) has. 

Be aware, before you next want help, that you open a wider door into concern for your welfare.

She needs to know her limits – “helping” doesn’t mean she can annoy, intrude, harp. This is a mutual problem you both need to resolve, through expressing your love and your boundaries.

Once the lines are clearly drawn, don’t answer the phone when her calls are repeated. Say “Goodbye,” when the “W” (weight) word is uttered; and call to see how SHE is doing sometimes.

After we graduated, my friend helped me get a contract job with her company, and my contract there keeps getting renewed; she was hired full-time. I felt grateful and we became closer friends. 

She wanted me to go to a convention with her, so I could expand my networking, but I refused, as I have other plans for when the contract ends. She kept telling me to move on, saying that if the company intended to hire me, they’d already have done so. That hurt my feelings because I’m still very happy on contract. Then, she got promoted, and asked if I’d want her present full-time job.

Finally, I said to stop asking me to move on. Now she won’t talk to me. I feel torn because her harassment made me abrupt with her. I know deep inside there’s no friendship left, once I leave that company.

- Disappointed

The friendship has never been equal – she felt she helped you, and enjoyed acting the superior part of advisor. You have somehow not conveyed your own strength and convictions, such as your reasons for preferring a contract job to a permanent one, or sharing with her your long-term plans. 

If you hope to start a new friendship on equal footing, speak up.

My boyfriend of three-plus years can’t handle sadness; he’d rather be angry because he can deal with that. 

Recently, I finished college and accepted a job. He won’t move with me (due to his job); he said a long-distance relationship wasn’t an option, but that he supported my decision and would’ve done the same thing.

Since then, our fights have drastically escalated. I feel he’s picking fights because it’ll be easier for him to deal with hating me when I leave as opposed to being sad when I move.

- Last Weeks Together

It’s over; you made that decision when you chose this job despite his refusal to move. He might have done the same, but this was your call. So he’s angry, which is no surprise; you already knew how he reacts to hurts. 

Best to part now, before the fighting becomes unbearable and nasty for you both.