My boyfriend of three months was previously my friend for a year. We didn't rush into our relationship.

Neither of us has actually said "I love you" yet, because we both want it to actually mean something when said. I'm really falling for him, but sometimes he not only bugs or annoys me, but also emotionally hurts me.

When we fight, (only one quarter of our time together) it's usually about something he's over-thought into a big deal. The other three-quarters of the time, after every kiss he'll have the biggest grin on his face.

He's the exact kind of person I want to be with, but I feel like I'm emotionally unstable. I either want to tell the world that I love him, or I'm so angry I can't look at him.

Am I just infatuated? I can't think of anyone else I want to be with. I can picture myself growing old with this guy.

Need Guidance

It's not "emotionally unstable" to be realistic about a relationship. You two may've co-operated very well as just friends, but now that there are sensitive feelings involved, and yes, emotions, you're both reacting to disputes very strongly. He makes a "big deal"... you "can't look at him."

Since this is happening during one-quarter of your time together, it's meaningful. You both need to step back and try to discuss what's going on.

Some questions to consider: Has one or both of you changed your expectations of each other now that you're a couple? Is this realistic, or part of a notion of what romance should be... or are you both now dragging in baggage from past relationships?

If you can't figure it out on your own, and you want to stay together, counselling may be needed.

We're a Jewish couple who, as always, received Christmas cards from well-meaning Christian friends. We don't understand why friends who know we're Jewish and wish to send a holiday greeting, don't send us a Chanukah card instead.

It'd even be nice to see a Happy Chanukah message written inside the Christmas card if this is what they send.

Although they're being thoughtful (and we're grateful) it's also a measure of cultural arrogance that makes us uncomfortable. It would never occur to us to give Chanukah cards to our Christian friends.

We give them Christmas cards, and every year we give a Chinese New Year card to our friend who celebrates that holiday (who, incidentally, is the one friend that does send us a Chanukah greeting).

We don't want to alienate or offend our friends by saying anything, but at the same time we're growing frustrated by the situation. How do we remind them gently that we don't celebrate Christmas?

Uncertain

Longtime friends already know that you don't celebrate the Christian holiday in a religious sense, but they also know that you partake of the general time off, Boxing Day sales, etc. at this time of year.... while Chanukah often doesn't take place at exactly the same time (though this year, it overlaps).

So they send you a Christmas greeting along with everyone else on their list. It's a bit lazy, but they likely think that you understand. It's even more likely they'd be appalled if they thought you see this as cultural arrogance.

Invite the closest of them over for Chanukah latkes, and the lighting of the holiday candles during the eight-day holiday. They may understand the "difference" better if they see it up close and personal.

My friend really, really likes his girlfriend - maybe not to the point of true love, but he's fooled into thinking he loves her.

Today she told him it was over, but then text-ed him later saying it was just a joke and she was just testing his love for her. Do you think he should forgive her, or end it?

Need to Know

Sorry, but your attitude's showing, so this is a loaded question.

It's obvious that YOU think he should end it. The "clue" is that you say he's "fooled" into thinking he loves her. You presented your biased opinion this way, hoping I'd agree.

I don't. It's up to him and his deeper feelings. She didn't spread this rumour of ending things, and didn't drag out her "joke." He should tell her it bothered him, and that's fair warning that she's not to take their relationship lightly.