Following are leftover questions from my Live Chat topic, Risking Your Relationship (Sept. 19):

My wife sometimes misunderstands what I’m saying. She says it’s my fault because I don’t explain things clearly enough. When I said I had to go out of town for a project, I believed she understood that my whole team was going (two other guys and a woman).

But because she hasn’t met my newest colleague (female), she made a big thing out of my not naming her specifically, as going on the week away.

When these mis-communications happen, my wife gets suspicious. But we’re both very busy working and dealing with our two kids, so we don’t always get to talk for long.

All the more reason why you both need to be clear in your short, but sometimes significant, talks.

You might’ve anticipated she’d be a bit jealous or at least curious about this new woman. It doesn’t take more than seconds to say, the new female colleague is going along.

It also doesn’t take long to be reassuring with your wife if you realize she’s wondering about this woman.

And there’s still time to stop being defensive about her misunderstanding, and be clear about how much you love her.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three months. We get along great, and he wants me to move in.

My lease is coming up soon, and I live half an hour away from him, so it’d be cheaper and more convenient.

But a new guy at work came onto me, and he’s really cute so I’m thinking about him a lot. Is that a sign that I shouldn’t move in so fast?

But what if my boyfriend says Now or Never, which is sort of what he’s hinting when he keeps talking about the move?

Your boyfriend’s pushing you into a move you’re not ready for. That’s one of the main reasons another guy looks so appealing.

But it’s unfair to latch onto this co-worker as an escape hatch.

You’d risk what may be a good relationship with your boyfriend by not standing up for yourself.

Tell him you’re not ready to live together. Three months is a rush. Convenience of a half-hour and cheaper rent are NOT benefits if you accept a situation you don’t like… breaking up’s then a lot harder.

I’ve been with a guy whom I know isn’t great for me, but I keep getting hooked. I’m single, 40, and have no one else.

I know he “leans” on me to keep away from drugs, also when he doesn’t have work.

He says he loves me and will change for me, but after a few months, he goes back to his old ways.

I want to move on but he knows I get lonely and shows up.

I don’t know if I should use a matching dating service and risk being rejected, or stick with him and risk ending up sorry.

You’re only considering bad choices - accept a druggie who uses you, or expect rejection elsewhere.

Do NOT go with either option. Instead, age 40 is a perfect time for working on your relationship with yourself. See an individual therapist about self-esteem issues. Learn the source of these negative feelings, and ways to put them in the past.

Once you love yourself, you’ll never again accept crummy choices with predictable unhappy endings.

My boyfriend says I shut him out when I’m under stress. But he’s sometimes not very understanding, so I keep things to myself.

My best friend dissed me by “forgetting” to invite me to her sister’s shower. I was furious, but he thought I made a big deal out of nothing, and laughed it off.

So I stopped talking to him for a few days while I was moody, then dealt with my friend by calling her on it.

The “silent treatment” between couples is really a temper tantrum. It achieves only distance and rejection felt by the partner.

So it’s a risk to your relationship, not a solution. If you have strong feelings about something, explain why.

Otherwise, a spat can seem just another small thing.

But there was more to how you felt… not valued by your friend, purposefully left out for some reason, and deeply hurt.

He could’ve been your greatest support and given you reassurance, but blowing it off meant there was no chance. Tell him so.