My granddaughter, 7, has been exposed to cigarette smoke since she was born. After many tries to address this with her mother, including counselling from child welfare officials, the conditions persist and now her teenage sister is allowed to let her friends smoke indoors while visiting.    
      Her mother has complex issues - physical, mental and financial plus mood swings and a tendency to share too much information with my granddaughter.     
      While she often appreciates my involvement and care for my granddaughter, she also shows jealousy. My granddaughter doesn’t have friends visit her because of their living conditions and her mom's reputation.     
      She’s also becoming neurotic about leaving her mother to visit me. She’s been accustomed to staying with me on weekends and holidays and until recently this was positive for all.    
      The children’s agency is no longer involved. Her father, my son, sees her every second weekend but that’s it, other than paying child support for her care.     
      I’d like to help more, but my concern causes me great anxiety and confusion. I feel responsible but helpless.
      - Worried

You can’t control the smoke situation while she lives there, but you can try to be a positive influence to your daughter and the teenager, without haranguing them.    
      The teenager would probably respond well to occasional outings, help with grooming, etc., that might eventually make her realize there are healthier ways to look cool.     
      Your granddaughter’s anxieties about leaving mom are not unusual for her age (a time when youngsters become aware of death). Visit her at her home, take her on outings, and include mom when you can.     
      This will help alleviate her mother’s jealousy and the girl will visit you again when she’s more at ease.    
      Instead of withdrawing from this situation and building anxieties, offer a sunny personality, a break from their daily routine and your personal role model as a caring grandmother. You are needed.

I’ve been talking seriously with my parents about visiting family overseas. My parents (divorced) agreed that it was a good idea. My father offered to come with me so I’d have a way around and a place to stay. My mother thought I just meant “someday.”     
      I’m starting on a master’s degree in September and wanted something before this commitment. I work two minimum wage jobs. My mother is now not talking to me because she said I should be saving this money and not spending it in Europe. I said I’d save the other months’ pay, and take a loan for tuition.
      However, I need to bring gifts to family - so it's not an easy trip financially. Nevertheless, I decided to buy small gifts because I really wanted to see my grandmother before she dies.    
      My mother and her don’t get along; she doesn’t see why I would want to go see her. How do I get my worrisome mother to relax?
      - Torn

Listen to your mother’s suggestions, show compliance with what you can (small gifts were a good move), ask her what she’d like you to bring her back and go on your trip.    
      However, you should first check out that getting the loan for tuition would be possible. Moreover, if you still rely on mom’s extra financial help, you should sit down with her and work out the math.    
      If you find that you’ll end up in serious debt, then postpone the trip, but do NOT postpone your education that leads you to better opportunities.

My boyfriend of two years has "moved on." He’d proposed and gave me a ring a year ago. We put it off because his kids and his job took him nearly three hours away from me.     
      Though I’d initially accepted, his ways – a slob, horrible money management - always bothered me.     
      I'm 61, raised with abuse. I don't want him and was only sad for a week, but now loneliness is eating at me. I KNOW I need counselling. I know my indigenous culture plays a large role in what I do.
      - Lost

Everyone’s culture affects their reactions, especially when there are strong emotions.     
      His leaving you feels like rejection when, in fact, you weren’t that sure you wanted to marry him. This IS a good time for reflection and understanding yourself, through counselling.     
      Your own community might offer meaningful therapy; or try a community agency or private counsellor for individual help.