I was in a relationship of one year, and the guy and I had a very strong emotional, mental, and spiritual connection.
But we weren't that physical.
He told me that he loved me but he wasn't mentally ready to be in a relationship.
He said he saw me in his future. He said he wants to marry and have kids with me and the reason is that when we’re together, he’s the happiest he's ever been.
But when I was in school we went on a break, and then we broke up after he led me on for two and a half months.
A few weeks ago we decided to just be friends.
He told me that he'll always love me and when he gets everything situated in his life he’ll try to win me back.
The fact that I love him so much makes me want to believe him, but I'm scared to trust him again.
Should I continue being his friend and once he's good give him another chance? Or should I just be his friend and live life from there?
Don’t count on his wanting a relationship soon or even later.
Continue with going to school and also feel free to date others if you meet guys you want to get to know.
This guy has put you “on hold” for reasons that aren’t clear.
Getting “everything situated in his life” is an undefined goal that has no time frame… i.e. an excuse.
If you knew it meant getting a job or a degree, you’d be able to stay friends and be supportive.
But without any specifics it seems he wants to assure that you’ll be available as more than a friend when he decides that he’s ready to settle for you.
Meanwhile, staying friends with him just keeps you waiting and wondering when he’ll desire you as a partner.
Value yourself much higher than that.
It’s demeaning to hold onto his vague promises when you can’t trust that this guy who already led you on really means what he says.
I'm an outgoing and socially active male, age 29.
In one of my various social circles - an older 33-plus crowd mixed with males and females - we meet often at young professional events and various other gatherings.
Some of us are also friends outside of these meetings.
When I see my female friends within the above circle and different groups, we typically hug, which I feel is appropriate.
But I notice some men in that circle greet the females with the “social kiss on the cheek.”
I greet my aunt and grandmother this way when I see them, but not my female friends.
When is it proper or acceptable to greet a female platonic friend with a kiss hello? When I get married? After age 30?
I just want to follow the proper social etiquette.
To Hug or Kiss in LA?
Social etiquette varies with time, place, and group. Plus the added factor of what feels comfortable for you.
So, among the more established socially-active and late-age millenials (over 30) in Los Angeles, showing the confidence of cheek-kissing your platonic friends seems a natural choice.
The hug is also warm and friendly, but not as forward.
Since this social greeting is with friends, either approach is acceptable.
Given that you’re a frequent mixer, try out the kiss when you feel you can handle it casually, without being considered, well, cheeky.
Yes, you’re old enough.
I'm a male, 48, and my girlfriend of four years is 39.
Every time she posts a picture or anything on Facebook, she has a male friend who "likes" everything except the pictures of us together.
I’ve learned that he's an ex-boyfriend. She sees nothing wrong with this.
I'm telling her it’s disrespectful and that he may still be holding a flame for her.
She says I'm being paranoid, jealous, or maybe he just didn't see it on his timeline.
When I raise this from time to time, she get's SUPER irate and it turns into an argument. Is it me or her?
It’s your relationship. After four years, she should respect your discomfort and make you comfortable about this guy rather than blame you.
However, if jealousy is common to you, then it’s a matter of your insecurity about where this relationship stands.
You both need The Talk about more than Facebook “likes.”
Tip of the day:
Waiting for someone to be “ready” for a relationship means accepting being put on hold.