There may not be many women (or men) left who want to be virgins until marriage, but there are plenty of us who wanted a serious long-term relationship before having sex.
I was a virgin until 21. I was able to use my beliefs about virginity to weed through those dates who only wanted sex. And there were plenty who were willing to date me without expecting anything more than a good night kiss.
I found there are many good men out there who want more from a girl. She shouldn't feel embarrassed to say what she believes in, but rather she should just be forthright with guys. It's just the way she is, take it or leave it.
As for me, I dated a lot and found the right guy. We've been married for seven years, and have two children.
My Way, in Davie, Fla.
Thanks for the encouragement for those who want to follow your path. The keys to your success in sticking to your beliefs was self-confidence, self-esteem, and conviction that this is what was best for you, despite social or other individuals' pressure.
I've supported my friend of ten years through divorce, marriage, children, and weight loss. Occasionally, I sought her support but she'd revel when I was feeling low, and exaggerate how wonderful her life had become.
Her innuendos regarding my weight or other choices are hurtful. Mostly, I just haven't reacted. If I do acknowledge her comment, she says that I'm sensitive.
When I help her, she speaks down to me as if I'm incompetent and can't handle the simplest of tasks. She's also a narcissist and very controlling. Her need for complete control on routine daily life is becoming unbearable.
How do I divorce her as a friend? I've tried sometimes to say I don't appreciate her actions, but she won't consider how she's affecting others. I've let the resentment and anger build up and I'm not interested in a confrontation.
Just sign off. Don't return calls quickly, be "too busy" to get together. But remember, control types don't give up easily. You'll eventually have to tell her that the friendship isn't working for you. No confrontation is necessary, because, if she protests or argues, you simply state, "Sorry, but that's all I have to say."
I have a knack for writing and giving people advice or just being a listening ear. I was recently turned on by a friend that I should write a book and recently been really into writing.
Should I become a journalist... maybe write as a newspaper columnist, a writer for a news station, or maybe later a magazine, and then my own book? How can I narrow writing down to something I'll love?
Wondering in Milwaukee
It's a great start on any career path to have interest and goals. Journalism is a valuable profession, despite ups and downs when there are some unscrupulous practitioners (just as in banking, real estate, insurance, etc.).
But it takes more than being "into writing" (though that helps, of course). There are excellent journalism schools in North America. Also, education in other areas can then be followed by journalism, e.g. a degree in the arts or even law, if you'd like to write in a specific field.
Once you have some educational background, seek an internship with some aspect of publishing. Then you'll be on your way to choosing a more direct route to a career.
FEEDBACK Regarding your telling a reader that his old friend should get the support of Alcoholics' Anonymous. But you didn't mention the writer going to Al-Anon (July 13):
Reader - "Please give the Al-Anon information for people who suffer from a loved one's addiction to alcohol and drugs."
Thanks for the reminder, I've often mentioned Al-Anon/Alateen in the past. That writer was a friend who wanted to be less involved, so I suggested he direct his alcoholic friend to AA and accompany him there once.
However, it's important to remind readers that Al-Anon/Alateen, known as Al-Anon Family Groups, is for relatives and friends of alcoholics who are involved. They provide support groups to give comfort to families of alcoholics, and help them offer understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.
Alateen is part of Al-Anon for young people affected by another's drinking, generally aged 13 to 19 years (varies depending on each group).
Tip of the day:
It takes confidence in your own values to forestall having sex until you feel a commitment to the relationship.