I’m 22, just graduated University. I recently ran into a friend and found myself attracted to him. We spent the whole night talking and laughing. He texted me the next day and the conversation was great. He even mentioned how pretty I looked in the photo we’d taken.
He never texted me that next week. It was always me starting the conversation, yet the conversations always went really well.
I’d made plans to be at a bar the next weekend where I knew he’d be. He came over and we bought each other drinks and talked throughout the night. He told one of my guy friends that I looked really good that night.
Does this mean he’s interested??
He’s interested, perhaps as a friend, perhaps more. You need to know whether he’s already attached at home or long-distance. If yes, keep in contact, don’t have expectations, but keep the door open.
If he’s free, find a way to casually get together… e.g. mention a concert you’d like to see enough to get tickets, and see if he takes that bait.
Or, learn what he does for fun, then follow a few days later with a suggestion of doing something similar – tennis anyone? Or, a hike? Keep it light and only be the initiator of this kind of meeting once, to see if he carries it forward.
When choosing my bridal party, I’d only known one girl for a year, but her boyfriend’s in the bridal party. She seemed really excited and honoured. We got close easily and see each other regularly.
Her birthday was recent, and we held a garage sale that morning (so I could afford to go to her party, as I haven't been working for a good while).
I’d intended to get her a gift, which I’d chosen, that afternoon, but was feeling dizzy from the sun so rested before her party.
I explained why I wouldn't be bringing anything. The following week she said she no longer wanted to be in my bridal party, I should have people I’ve known longer.
However, I’d had to cut out my best friend of 18 years because she’d turned into a nasty person, so I don't have longtime close friends. I felt so rejected, I cried all night.
The next day, my fiancée touched base with her boyfriend. Turns out, she was mad about the gift situation, even though I’d explained that I knew what I wanted to get her.
She later said that I should’ve been able to get it before her birthday (but when cash and a car aren't at your disposal, it's difficult to do so). She also said I should’ve made or bought a card at the very least.
I RARELY get cards. But I’d given her clothes that still had tags on them. I left a bottle of wine in her fridge the week before. None of my gestures had got me the benefit of the doubt.
She apologized and now wants to be back in my wedding party, but I can't help but feel I can't trust her.
Forgive and Forget?
Forgive but don’t completely forget the lessons on both sides. You need to note that a close friend’s birthday calls for acknowledgement that day.
A flower, poem, song, muffin with candle, something was needed to show your caring.
She’s apologized, so already realizes she was wrong, too, by pulling out of the bridal party. All she needed to do was tell you she was hurt.
I've been married for many years, put on weight after having kids. I had no motivation to lose it until an old flame encouraged me.
I didn’t complain to my husband that he’s grown large too, but he’d nagged me to slim down. Our sex life was still fun.
I recently put on a few pounds and he won't have sex with me because he says he's afraid I’ll become big again.
I think he's withholding sex more because of erectile dysfunction (ED). He’s under doctor's care. How do I start the conversation about his damaging words and actions without having him turn on me in anger? I want my attentive husband back, not this cranky old complainer.
Lonely and Rejected
ED is an emotional blow to manly pride. He’s hiding behind trumped-up “fear” about your weight. He needs compassion now, not tit for tat.
Learn how to help him regain his confidence – through stroking, cuddling, and following doctor’s orders.
Tip of the day:
To develop a relationship, nothing ventured is nothing gained.