What do you tell young people who are looking for meaning in life? I'm single, have no childhood memory of my mother ever telling me that she loved me, and have no romantic partner, no fulfilling career, or passion.

I don't know what I'm doing or what my purpose in life is.

Lost

It's not uncommon for many young people to feel undirected at a time when some others are already sure of their career path or involved in romance.

Yet, taking time to explore different possibilities for the future, and NOT rushing into a relationship before you're feeling self-confident about what you want in a partner, can turn out far better for you.

This can be a positive turning point, if you get pro-active. I urge you to find a counsellor to talk to about your feelings, and your options. Student services, or a community agency can connect you with an individual therapist and career counselor.

Most people don't find "their purpose" in life until long after they've been pursuing some of their choices... whether it's their job, a family unit, or a particular lifestyle. Also, people change as they mature, and often, so do their goals and expectations.

You're not "lost," just in transition. It's normal and healthy, if you use it to move forward.

My family has always been distant, and it's gotten worse. My sister and I end up fighting no matter how hard we work to create a relationship. It's been over a year since we communicated other than her texts every few months.

She lives with my mom elsewhere, where they've been since they took off right after I left for college in the 80's. I'd tried living with them for a while, but it just doesn't work.

Mom's never been very close to me - I was my dad's favourite, and he died when I was young. Things have been even more fragile now that my sister and I don't talk. I suspect that if my sister knows my mom talks to me there may be arguments, even temper-tantrums.

I have several older friends more than willing to collect me as a daughter. I'd love to have a mom who wants me around.

My husband recently reconnected with his birth-mom, who urgently wants to bring us into her family, too. To add to my emotional turmoil, one of my closest friends is in the hospital, likely to die within months.

My heart aches for a relationship with a mother figure. I'm tired of being dumped. How does it feel to have a normal connection with a brand-new-to-me mother without being too intense or too reserved?

Hoping

Be careful what you wish for... a substitute mother cannot fill the hole you carry deep inside over your feelings of being "dumped." Your expectations of some other "mother figure" may well end up too high, which is a set-up for being disappointed again.

Enjoy these older women you know, and your husband's birth mother for whom they really are. You can have great friendships with them, but you can't rely on them to change all your hurts from the past.

If there's a way to re-connect with your sister, give it a try. Her texts indicate she still wants some communication. Respond, but stay away from sensitive topics. And when she seems argumentative, try to back off without rising to the bait. Say something like, "Let's be in touch another time, it was good to talk for awhile."

My friend will only come over if I drive her home. She lives just one bus ride away (three or four stops). Recently, we had plans to hang out here. She asked to bring her boyfriend. I said, "then you guys can go home together safely," figuring she'd take the bus home with him. She said they don't have bus money.

I suggested we hang out when it's warmer so they could walk home together. Am I wrong to not want to always drive her home?

Fed Up

You're not saying what you know is going on. If it's made easy for her, she'll fit you into her plans. Otherwise, she won't - she may be fearful of the neighbourhood, or just lazy.

Decide whether her sometime-company is worth the effort. If she's fun to be with, or if you have few friends and want to keep this one, expect to drive.