The woman I’ve been dating for six months uses sarcasm to make her point whenever we disagree. It’s getting on my nerves.

English is my second language so she leaves me baffled and unable to respond momentarily. Therefore my replies are usually not very forceful.

Later, I think of wonderful comebacks too late, leaving me with unexpressed opinions.

I find she may not be the woman for me.

Should I cut this relationship short or keep seeing her as I have no other prospects on the horizon?

- Frustrated

Your language here is right on: She’s not the woman for you. She’s insensitive, and more intent on winning an argument than resolving it. Do NOT stay with her just because there’s no one else… hers is not the language of love, nor even of good companionship.

Tell her in plain words to take her sarcasm elsewhere – you don’t want to hear it anymore.

Dear Readers: A recent letter (Sept. 29) about a couple’s annoyance with the man’s “chatty” mother, aged 73 – who visited for a half-hour every two weeks to see her young granddaughters - aroused much response.

The grandmother’s dropping-in, uninvited, and her attempts to show she’s still “cool” were considered irritating, especially by the wife.

My answer dealt with the couple’s relationship, as it was clear to me the mother-in-law issue was only a smokescreen for other problems between them (and the son, himself, felt they needed counselling).

But many of you were appalled at their attitude towards this older woman, and offered good advice.

* Maybe she wouldn't talk so much if they saw her more often.

Why don't they give her a babysitting opportunity -- time to spend with her grandchildren while they go out?

* The main problem here is a lack of compassion on the part of this selfish couple. She’s probably lonely, which is often why people "talk constantly."

*They can still turn this around, if only for their own self-interest.

How much time can they expect to have with their own grandchildren if his girls are being taught that visits from a grandparent are intrusive and irritating?

* I wonder how many of your readers whose mothers have passed away would trade places with the letter-writer.

* His wife's behaviour is appalling: it's rude, absolutely selfish and totally inconsiderate of the needs and feelings of her mother-in-law, her husband and her children. It's hard to believe that the husband would put up with it.

This couple needs a few lessons about what healthy relationships look like.

*I wonder whether the wife's mother visits just once in two weeks and for only half an hour.

*She’s desperately trying to be good enough to be allowed to visit, hence the being "cool.”

* His wife hates his mother -- it doesn't matter if the old dear is chatty or whatever.

He must solve this himself, without his wife. His mother deserves better. No invitations to dinner… they don't visit her… this is grandmother abuse.

He must make a regular appointment to see his mother, such as taking the kids and her out for Sunday brunch. He can make it clear to his wife that she isn’t expected to attend and she’s free to do anything she’d like, e.g. sleep in etc.

He should also ask his mother not to drop by as it disrupts the household BUT he must invite her over for special occasions such as her birthday, the children's birthdays.

He and the kids can do the visiting while his wife gets to go out.

I know of grandparents who chain- smoked near the baby, drank to excess, swore in front of the kids, brought new boyfriends for sleepovers, borrowed money… and still there was a place found for them in a loving home.

By not expecting his wife to participate in a relationship with his mother, not blaming her and solving the problem himself, this guy may buy a few brownie points and the wife will thaw a bit. Or not.

*I’m a widow in my 70s, in good health and financially well off, but with friends moving away to be near family, getting sick and dying, it gets pretty lonely sometimes!

What about Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays etc.?

Does the son remember how many meals his mother has cooked for HIM, how often she listened to his chatter?