August 27, 2008
When the “best friend” tries to come between a couple, they need to unite in setting limits on her.
August 26, 2008
If it looks wrong and feels wrong, your instinct is likely right, that it’s wrong.
August 25, 2008
When relatives consistently play upsetting mind games, limit your exposure.
August 23, 2008
The people who broke your heart years ago are unlikely to be the ones to mend it decades later.
August 22, 2008
Fidelity can only be quantified over time, but persistent paranoia about it eventually needs to be addressed.
August 21, 2008
When you’re being pushed into an uncomfortable situation, change it to one you can handle.
August 20, 2008
In the dating world, when you play off two people, the outcome often leaves you home alone.
August 19, 2008
Company policy can be better questioned, if you get thoroughly informed.
August 18, 2008
Mutual sexual comfort as well as satisfaction, requires both parties to communicate and compromise.
August 16, 2008
Adult children should be prepared that staying under the parental roof means abiding by parental rules.
August 15, 2008
If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the limelight.
August 14, 2008
Excusing drunken misbehaviour assures repeat performances.
August 13, 2008
Outlandish tales in relationships usually get revealed as plain lies.
August 12, 2008
Even a dog-lover has the right to put personal property out of bounds.
August 11, 2008
Muddy relationships drag everyone involved into anger, resentment and regrets.
August 09, 2008
Friendship should mean caring about other people, not just about what you want from them.
August 08, 2008
You can’t push a relationship into your own plans; you can only hope that both of you will adjust your plans.
August 07, 2008
Love that smothers doesn’t allow room for the other person’s feelings.
August 06, 2008
If you always accept the same situation, others will expect it to continue.
August 05, 2008
A “problem drinker” is one who’s alcohol consumption creates problems – personal, and/or for others.
August 04, 2008
Loose Lips is an unattractive and destructive trait that can easily end relationships.
August 02, 2008
When the grief process gets stuck in depression, counselling is needed.
August 01, 2008
Food debris from another’s mouth should be avoided like any other germ missile.
July 31, 2008
The year of adjustment after a major loss should NOT be clouded with unsatisfying relationship choices.
July 30, 2008
Being repeatedly called by the ex-‘s name raises questions of intent, not insult.
July 29, 2008
“Hit and Run” lovers lose more than they gain out of any relationship.
July 28, 2008
“Nice Guys” generally outlast the “Bad-Boy” types who flash into hot relationships and fizzle out when their true nature is revealed.
July 26, 2008
“Divorcing” children experience more pain, with less coping skills, than their parents.
July 25, 2008
Three early-dating Relationship Rules to handle glitches without overreacting: Restrain, Re-Evaluate, Relax.
July 24, 2008
Parents need to present a united front on their core values – from household responsibilities to deception, as well as attitudes on alcohol and drugs.
July 23, 2008
When two people carry old baggage, one has to drop it first to see if there’s a chance for a future together.
July 22, 2008
Discouragement by a parent can be enough of a debilitating factor to qualify as emotional abuse.
July 21, 2008
When the healthy shy away from understanding severe illness, it’s usually self-protection, not lack of caring.
July 19, 2008
Expressing concern and insecurity through jealousy is the way to harm, not help, a relationship.
July 18, 2008
Be careful when suggesting an unproven medical diagnosis to explain a problematic relationship.
July 17, 2008
Betrayal’s nasty after-taste can be wiped away by current happiness and relief at losing the jerk.
July 16, 2008
Getting parental approval is important, but honesty and maturity are crucial to the relationship.
July 15, 2008
When a parent holds the strings on an adult child’s life, it’s hard to have a mature couple partnership.
July 14, 2008
When house-hunting with a partner, the strength of the relationship is even more important than the value of the house.
July 12, 2008
You can’t turn an old, immature relationship into a current love story without personal change.
July 11, 2008
You can’t run away from past mistakes, but must confront why they happened and how to prevent them in future.
July 10, 2008
Relationship problems need more than labels such as “trust issues”… they need to be talked out in details and truths.
July 09, 2008
When one partner experiences difficulties, you can expect the other to also need to recover.
July 08, 2008
Seeking sex elsewhere, is a sure way to turn a relationship into a thing of the past.
July 07, 2008
A baby’s arrival demands an immediate reality check to an affair.
July 05, 2008
When an adult child’s behaviour is unusual and worrying, a parental push for health care may be crucial.
July 04, 2008
Friendships with the opposite sex do not have to be worrisome, unless a spouse is constantly being left out of the loop.
July 03, 2008
Keeping smooth relationships with everyone raising the kids of divorce, requires overlooking minor incidents.
July 02, 2008
When family harmony vs bridal will, choose what you can handle AFTER the wedding.
July 01, 2008
Have a wonderful Canada Day!
June 30, 2008
Partners who expect their spouses to labour full-time both at work and at home can, like dinosaurs, expect extinct relationships.
June 28, 2008
True love at first sight is a blessing best recognized in retrospect.
June 27, 2008
Better to confront family hostility while living, than leave a legacy of it.
June 26, 2008
Explaining divorce to children is a process that requires a parent to try to form their own understanding too.
June 25, 2008
Let a friend complain about his/her partner before you do.
June 24, 2008
Grief can cause turning points in life, but must be handled emotionally before making dramatic changes.
June 23, 2008
The hurts of growing up need not shadow your ability to see yourself as the adult you are.
June 21, 2008
When generosity to family becomes an expected handout, time to re-examine the budget and the relationships.
June 20, 2008
When what you’ve done before isn’t working anymore, don’t blame on others OR yourself….try something different.
June 19, 2008
When a perpetually unhappy person poisons a relationship, an antidote is needed - one-way or another.
June 18, 2008
Withholding sex in marriage is an unfair escape from the partnership, often sparked by depression and life changes.
June 17, 2008
When a relationship is entered into because of insecurity, it’s insecurity that will split you apart.
June 16, 2008
Relationships are often destroyed by too much drama as reaction, instead of seeking solutions.
June 14, 2008
Children cannot “fix” their parents marriage problems, it’s an impossible burden to try to bear.
June 13, 2008
When you rely on a parent as a babysitter, you automatically invite some involvement in your life.
June 12, 2008
For long distance relationships to become full-time partnerships, both parties have to be willing to make changes.
June 11, 2008
Part of achieving a “work/life” balance is recognizing your own priorities.
June 10, 2008
People blinded by love, often face rude awakenings in the light.
June 09, 2008
Bearing bad news about others’ relationships can drag you into the midst of their troubles.
June 07, 2008
A relationship that has to be monitored through snooping is more stressful than it’s worth.
June 06, 2008
Keeping a “secret” that’s likely to shock a partner is unfair and unhealthy for everyone involved.
June 05, 2008
Anyone who carries the herpes virus has a moral obligation to be open about it with a potential sex partner.
June 04, 2008
You can’t expect a partner to change unless you’re willing to improve your own contribution to the relationship.
June 03, 2008
Even in times of financial stress, relationships need to be nourished, so you can face the challenges together.
June 02, 2008
It’s “too much information” when a friend’s relationship pre-occupies too much of your own life.
May 31, 2008
When a crush is persistently troublesome, change the circumstances that created it.
May 30, 2008
When a relationship is troubled from the start, re-think the choice or find a fresh approach.
May 29, 2008
A dishonest, sneaky relationship rarely thrives over the long-term.
May 28, 2008
Health issues can create relationship stress.
May 27, 2008
Commitment fears are sometimes the result of age and lifestyle, and are more easily overcome as time brings changes.
May 26, 2008
Mixed marriages, in face of opposition, require confidence and conviction, as well as commitment.
May 24, 2008
When a workplace romance fails, carry on with your head held high, and your hurt kept private.
May 23, 2008
When a spouse has addiction problems, find the resources available to him/her as well as for yourself.
May 22, 2008
When you give an ultimatum, be prepared to accept its consequences, or work very hard to turn it around.
May 21, 2008
When a phone is the third party in your relationship, it’s time for couple communication.
May 20, 2008
It doesn’t bode well for a relationship, if you have to convince someone to “settle” for you.
May 19, 2008
Long-distance relationships require a consistent extra effort to stay connected.
May 17, 2008
In-law problems often reflect underlying resentments on either or both sides. Communicate, and compromise.
May 16, 2008
When close friends or family are splitting, stay caring, but out of “the middle.”
May 15, 2008
Beware of the too-easy offer of “a perfect affair” – it’s a deal doomed to fail.
May 14, 2008
When people confide things of which you thoroughly disapprove, speak up early or you’ll risk the bond between you.
May 13, 2008
When the marriage planning takes away all time and enjoyment from the relationship, re-think what’s your main goal.
May 12, 2008
Parents need to get their child-rearing act together before they start a power struggle over the kids’ behaviour.
May 10, 2008
When a relationship looks future-bound, it’s time to air out major differences such as those around having children.
May 09, 2008
Beware of Reno Reality: it can expose more need for repairing the marriage than the house.
May 08, 2008
NEVER have unprotected sex with a partner you don’t know well.
May 07, 2008
There are few universal conclusions about the effects of divorce versus unhappy marriages; instead, there are individuals, their specific problems and how they handle them.
May 06, 2008
Sometimes the best “help,” comes from backing off enough for people to figure out how to help themselves.
May 05, 2008
Parents must speak up on behalf of a child’s emotional well-being, even if it means affecting the marital relationship.
May 03, 2008
“Distancing” can be a natural adjustment in dating, or a step out the door.
May 02, 2008
Don’t overreact to a partner’s feelings of natural jealousy, when there’s a logical reason triggering it.
May 01, 2008
When a man only wants to make babies but not hang around to raise them, he’s giving you more responsibility, not a gift of love.
April 30, 2008
The nostalgia of an old romance can be seductive; be mindful of the present and all the other people involved.
April 29, 2008
Divorce isn’t pleasant, but when children are involved, a shutdown of communication worsens the situation.
April 28, 2008
When fear of rejection persistently blocks normal functioning, professional therapy may be necessary.
April 26, 2008
When a baby’s arrival triggers a clash of generations, those with maturity and wisdom should back off until the sensitivities settle.
April 25, 2008
When a “partner” keeps treating you like a visitor in his/her life, it’s time to reassess the relationship.
April 24, 2008
Amateur researchers should not consider their instant knowledge about serious illnesses to be definitive, nor specific.
April 23, 2008
When a relationship is going well, don’t push your needs as more important than the other person’s…find the balance.
April 22, 2008
It’s an old adage that still holds true in romance: Little things mean a lot.
April 21, 2008
Different generations sometimes see children’s issues differently, but parents must always protect their kids.
April 19, 2008
When distance is only an excuse, take stock of where the relationship is really going.
April 18, 2008
If you stay in the background, don’t be surprised when someone else steals the limelight.
April 17, 2008
Couples with small children need to work out a time for having sex and intimacy or risk losing that important bond.
April 16, 2008
When there’s a standoff disagreement in a relationship, look at the needs of both sides before making dramatic decisions.
April 15, 2008
When the clues to potential cheating keep adding up, it’s time to sum up the relationship.
April 14, 2008
Long distance relationships can only last if there’s also a balance of time spent together.
April 12, 2008
A successful union usually melds two separate people and their behaviour patterns into a workable, comfortable team.
April 11, 2008
Wedding planning raises many emotions; it’s not a wise time for family standoffs.
April 10, 2008
The tale-bearer who informs a friend of betrayal by another friend, is likely to end up outside of this group.
April 09, 2008
A constant flirt’s attention-seeking often becomes more tiresome than attractive.
April 08, 2008
When a partner’s past, finished relationship is the cause of your depression, the problem likely lies within you more than him.
April 07, 2008
In-law troubles are rarely resolved by running away; recognizing your own part in the conflict starts the process.
April 05, 2008
Saving a young person from serious harm outweighs most other considerations.
April 04, 2008
When you march to your own drummer, don’t be surprised at finding a different beat.
April 03, 2008
Stay neutral in a marital split or expect to lose at least one friend.
April 02, 2008
Divorce requires much thinking through and preparation, not just the dream of another’s arms.
April 01, 2008
Happy April Fool’s Day! Remember: The day’s pranks can be fun, but not when they’re at the expense of another.
March 31, 2008
A partner’s sudden flight from the relationship usually comes after a long period of warning signs.
March 29, 2008
In a marital split, there’s inevitably hurt and anger on all sides.
March 28, 2008
Escaping a marriage through a fantasy affair only brings “distance” until the realities of divorce hit home.
March 27, 2008
When in-laws clash, the solution lies in learning how to handle each other’s personalities and changing your reaction to de-fuse the situation.
March 26, 2008
Sounding alarms on a friend’s new relationship, can end up backfiring on the friendship.
March 25, 2008
Living together without connection is a lonely set-up for everyone.
March 24, 2008
When a child of divorce is marrying, putting up with ex-relatives is how parents show support and love.
March 22, 2008
A spouse is your equal, someone to encourage, rather than browbeat with your information.
March 21, 2008
Memories of past relationships can carry important lessons for future ones.
March 20, 2008
Consider physical pokes and other horseplay, as a warning signal, if a partner doesn’t stop because it hurts you.
March 19, 2008
Ongoing financial ties with an ex, are often issues for new partners.
March 18, 2008
It’s unfair to distance yourself from parental criticism, without trying to show support for your partner who IS affected by it.
March 17, 2008
A romantic pitch can’t just be about what you feel; you need to find out what the other person wants from love.
March 15, 2008
While snooping is wrong, sometimes the evidence found is more significant than the method of discovery.
March 14, 2008
If you respond to suspicions with betrayal, you have to recognize that you’re both flawed and need to re-connect from scratch….if possible.
March 13, 2008
When one partner’s sexual energy far outdistances the other’s, it’s time to talk about it and make some compromises.
March 12, 2008
Coming out can’t be pushed to someone else’s deadline; it’s a turning point that must come from within.
March 11, 2008
Adjusting to the fallout of divorce takes time and a positive outlook, even about big changes.
March 10, 2008
When a relationship has more stress than shared enjoyment, it’s time for The Talk about whether it’s worth staying together.
March 08, 2008
Moving forward means not being afraid to look back.
March 07, 2008
Don’t turn a negative experience into a lifelong saga of woe; real life is what you make of it.
March 06, 2008
When working for a negative boss, take positive steps to boost your own outlook.
March 05, 2008
When a partner shows unusual anger and judgment towards an in-law, the problem sometimes rests in the couple’s relationship.
March 04, 2008
When fury persists over an old relationship, it means you need to forgive yourself, more than the other person.
March 03, 2008
A broken heart over a break up often reflects anger at oneself, as much as the other person.
March 01, 2008
When battle lines are drawn down the marital bed, the fight isn’t about love and babies.
February 29, 2008
When you’re unhappy at home, poaching on someone else’s happiness isn’t the answer.
February 28, 2008
Breaking up IS hard to take, especially if you wallow in the past.
February 27, 2008
When major decisions are based around only one partner’s needs and feelings, the “team spirit” is bound to fade.
February 26, 2008
Teenage relationships come with huge emotional swings, requiring parents to set out boundaries and protections.
February 25, 2008
Sneaking around to see an ex is demeaning to the couple’s relationship.
February 23, 2008
Allowing a serious marital problem to persist, for fear of confrontation, only creates a later firestorm.
February 22, 2008
An affair is sometimes only an escapist interlude, and not a desire for divorce.
February 21, 2008
Major life decisions such as whether to have children aren’t always final.
February 20, 2008
When there’s a “secret somebody” barring the doorway to a date, the person you want is not free.
February 19, 2008
When sexual drive lessens, look for reasons and solutions, rather than blaming or giving up.
February 18, 2008
When a child is born from a spouse’s affair, that child’s well-being is more important than the anger of any adult involved.
February 15, 2008
No marriage vow should bind someone to accept true abuse; safety comes before all other negotiations.
February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine’s Day – an opportunity to celebrate all the loving relationships in your life!
February 13, 2008
Do not approach a problem with a bullhorn and bat, when a quiet conversation might just work.
February 12, 2008
In a loving relationship, one partner must not act superior.
February 11, 2008
Adult table manners are a sensitive topic: Guide, but don’t lecture.
February 09, 2008
Power struggles aren’t about the actual topic, but about whether two people can solve disagreements.
February 08, 2008
All relationships have peaks and valleys; find ways to appreciate the ordinary times, and to occasionally renew the spark.
February 07, 2008
“Are you going to have children?” is NOT a casual question; it’s intrusive and None of Your Business.
February 06, 2008
Children of addicted parents can benefit from support groups, and may also need professional help.
February 05, 2008
When your values are totally different, it’s time to cool the friendship.
February 04, 2008
When doing “everything” for another isn’t working, change your whole approach.
February 02, 2008
When a relationship is hugely different from what you expected, make sure you can deal with the consequences.
February 01, 2008
When watching porn interferes with a relationship, the tension can easily build towards a break-up.
January 31, 2008
Speaking up is the way to insist on a partnership; staying silent will eventually lead you to flee.
January 30, 2008
A long distance relationship cannot thrive on suspicion and drama.
January 29, 2008
Look for the way into a difficult discussion through recognizing what factors could’ve created the problem.
January 28, 2008
The first involvement after a major break-up is often the Transition Romance, but not the last one.
January 26, 2008
Happiness that’s self-centered can become a lonely one-way street.
January 25, 2008
When a separation is inevitable, so is the need for learning your legal rights and responsibilities.
January 24, 2008
When you find yourself going down the same path with each relationship, examine how you make your choices.
January 23, 2008
Grandparents need to respect their children’s rights to raise their kids as they choose, so long as there are no abuse issues.
January 22, 2008
Daydreaming about “the one that got away” can be destructive to holding onto the one you chose instead.
January 21, 2008
When suspicions take over your ability to enjoy a relationship, it’s time to be pro-active about your next move, rather than wait for calamity.
January 19, 2008
Co-parenting with an ex – along with his/her new spouse - takes putting criticisms last, and your child’s comfort level first.
January 18, 2008
Long distance relationships require efforts and plans by both sides for contact and visits.
January 17, 2008
“Breaks with rules” are usually a signal that the relationship just isn't working.
January 16, 2008
When any problem makes you feel hopeless, call your local distress centre immediately to re-connect with all that’s worthwhile in yourself.
January 15, 2008
Secrets and lies are destructive to a marriage, they never “save” the situation.
January 14, 2008
Confronting a former abuser, personally, should only be done after counselling has made you stronger within yourself.
January 12, 2008
In-law problems can destroy all the relationships in a family. For my personal help with tough in-law situations, see my reality TV show, “Outlaw In-laws” on Slice TV.
January 11, 2008
When a sporadic, platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex creates jealousy, the problem is usually with the relationship, not the friend.
January 10, 2008
Intimacy is the glue between a loving couple; when it’s withdrawn, usually other aspects of the union have become unstuck.
January 09, 2008
Talking someone into a relationship, over their doubts, is a set-up for an unequal union.
January 08, 2008
A foolish flirtation can become a positive turning point in a marriage, if both parties recognize what’s missing.
January 05, 2008
The “40s” are often wake-up years that point to what needs changing in your life.
January 04, 2008
When dating seriously, previous close relationships take on new meaning if you fail to mention them.
January 03, 2008
In a new relationship, listen and absorb what your potential partner is really saying.
January 02, 2008
Family pressures need to be addressed before a controversial relationship can be introduced.
January 01, 2008
Big mistakes in a relationship aren't easily forgiven, if ever, but learning from them offers a chance at future happiness.
December 31, 2007
Double standards in a relationship leave one partner feeling unfairly treated.
December 29, 2007
Sometimes the issue you’re arguing about is a smokescreen for one much deeper.
December 28, 2007
Sometimes the right signals are there but people are afraid to recognize them, since it means they must act.
December 27, 2007
Assess who might prefer time to absorb a break-up, before making “goodbye” gestures.
December 24, 2007
It’s never too late to learn to get along, where children are involved.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
December 22, 2007
When one or both partners let intimacy diminish, it’s a sure signal of deeper issues that need to be discussed.
December 21, 2007
Keep your Christmas spirit alive and real by not building impossible expectations.
December 20, 2007
When relationships are entangled with money and property, get legal advice.
December 19, 2007
After a miscarriage, partners need to support each other, not grieve alone.
December 18, 2007
Rushing into a next relationship after a messy divorce, makes adjustments even harder, especially for children.
December 17, 2007
Children are a worthy reason to try to make a union work, but not a reason to stay together if it can’t work.
December 15, 2007
Repeated cheating is a risky way of filling needs, especially when you don’t know what you’re seeking.
December 14, 2007
Keeping a reasonably neat home is a job for both working parents to figure out by mutual agreement.
December 13, 2007
Medical research by lay people is best cross-checked with trusted, knowledgeable medical experts.
December 12, 2007
How people treat their own parents and in-laws, is the lesson they teach on family connections.
December 11, 2007
When a bad relationship involves physical threats, safety should become the main focus, especially for children.
December 10, 2007
It’s dangerous to idealize the past and return to an ex whom you already realized wasn’t right for you.
December 08, 2007
“Friends with benefits” means two people have agreed on a sex-only relationship and understand why – otherwise, one party is being used.
December 07, 2007
When a partner’s making excuses to see someone else, it’s time to confront.
December 06, 2007
When a partner lets circumstances interfere completely with the relationship, it’s time to probe further who’s In and who’s Out.
December 05, 2007
Treat a loan to relatives like any other business matter and get a signed note promising re-payment.
December 04, 2007
You can’t move forward confidently with your own life if you’re pre-occupied with bitterness from the past.
December 03, 2007
Rushing into sponsoring for immigration an unmet internet “love,” is as likely to burn you as playing with fire.
December 01, 2007
A divorced parent is less effective in helping a child’s relationship with the other parent, if using controlling ways.
November 30, 2007
When one incident threatens an entire marriage there’s usually a deeper issue that needs to be addressed.
November 29, 2007
When a crush interferes with your ability to seek normal relationships, it’s an unhealthy situation.
November 28, 2007
Be prepared that snooping often raises bigger relationship issues than were suspected.
November 27, 2007
When problem relationships become a pattern, you need to examine your own choices and reactions.
November 26, 2007
When an adult child is deceptive and insensitive, trust is broken.
November 24, 2007
You can’t choose a partner’s relatives, so decide together how to handle them.
November 23, 2007
Acting insensitive to your partner’s feelings can start to erode a relationship.
November 22, 2007
An ultimatum is often added pressure at the worst time.
November 21, 2007
A gem from the past can be too glittery to hang onto, if it disturbs your new partner.
November 20, 2007
Office gossip about someone’s partner being gay can be dangerous to both long friendships and jobs.
November 19, 2007
Partners who are left alone too often may become vulnerable to people who seize the advantage.
November 17, 2007
Differences in relatives’ personal food choices needn’t be a recipe for family divisiveness.
November 16, 2007
A relationship with constant “win or lose” discussions, always leaves one party dissatisfied.
November 15, 2007
Don’t let past “mistakes” obstruct the success of a good relationship.
November 14, 2007
An active, loving sex life can be one of the great connectors in marriage.
November 13, 2007
When it comes to protecting your child, trust your gut.
November 12, 2007
Children’s best interests do NOT include running their parents’ lives.
November 10, 2007
When someone’s opinions are always being forced onto you, the whole relationship is likely to be unequal.
November 09, 2007
An emotional affair may be more of a warning than a habitual pattern.
November 08, 2007
When a sexual “problem” affects a relationship, it’s sometimes more about the relationship than the sex.
November 07, 2007
The signals given during dating are often Early Warning Signs that need to be fully understood.
November 06, 2007
Compassion and compromise are necessary in post-divorce weddings and second-time marriages.
November 05, 2007
The “fatal” mistakes in a marriage are the ones from which you flee, rather than learn and work to improve.
November 03, 2007
Trust returns through day-to-day behaviour, not through promises.
November 02, 2007
When more time is spent with pornography than with you, it’s time to go it alone.
November 01, 2007
In relationships, pushy equals needy and is usually a big turn-off.
October 31, 2007
Hallowe’en can be a fun, fanciful event, so long as children’s safety comes first.
October 30, 2007
Knowing your own part in a break-up, is the first step towards getting better at relationships.
October 29, 2007
“Don’t talk to strangers” is an old safety rule that still applies to getting close and personal electronically.
October 27, 2007
When there’s an ongoing issue between a couple, only compromise on both sides can save the relationship.
October 26, 2007
Revealing a partner’s innermost secrets is a no-no that can become a deal-breaker.
October 25, 2007
Being the Rescuer to an Abuser comes at too high a price.
October 24, 2007
Hiding from in-law problems with your spouse is unfair to everyone involved.
October 23, 2007
A continued power struggle in marriage either wears both sides down to misery or eventually causes a split.
October 22, 2007
To gossipmongers, your marital problems are pure entertainment.
October 20, 2007
Obesity is best approached as a health risk, rather than a relationship problem.
October 19, 2007
When someone is running your life, you may have given them the power.
October 18, 2007
A marriage that can end over “puppy wars” has other problems eroding it.
October 17, 2007
Loved ones deserve greater sensitivity and caring when they’ve been through a trauma.
October 16, 2007
Show adult children understanding for their need for separate space and routines.
October 15, 2007
Compromises sometimes have to be re-worked over time – but not through sudden whim.
October 13, 2007
Email contact isn’t evidence of cheating, but secrecy indicates a problem with trust.
October 12, 2007
Don’t expect trust from someone you once betrayed, until you’ve proven your renewed commitment.
October 11, 2007
When depression becomes the overriding response to problems, professional help is needed immediately.
October 10, 2007
When a dating relationship creates persistent anxiety, explore the roots of your reactions.
October 09, 2007
When a married person doesn’t want a friendship to “go further,” back off any other expectations, for everyone’s sake.
October 08, 2007
Don't snitch on bad behaviour, try to influence change.
October 06, 2007
Different moral values can eventually mean different, and unacceptable behaviour – better to start a relationship knowing you’re both on the same values page.
October 05, 2007
When a partner repeatedly ignores “the problem” you raise, he or she IS the problem.
October 04, 2007
Your family’s friendship with your “ex” sometimes calls for negotiations to assure everyone’s comfort.
October 03, 2007
Stay close and supportive to children on whom you can have a positive influence.
October 02, 2007
When a relationship goes stale, it’s the people who need to refresh their motivation, or move on.
October 01, 2007
When cheating becomes obvious, stop snooping and take action.
September 29, 2007
When a partner offers no ideas regarding a problem, the spouse often feels unheard.
September 28, 2007
The ongoing bitterness of an ex-spouse can harm a family more than the divorce.
September 27, 2007
Mature singles may’ve not married for a variety of reasons that should not be guessed.
September 26, 2007
When negative events cause a partner to retreat, professional counselling is usually needed.
September 25, 2007
An extramarital affair is always risky, but secret sexual encounters with a same-sex lover is like playing with matches and dynamite.
September 24, 2007
An ex may be a friend, but a partner comes first.
September 22, 2007
A critical attitude toward another’s family, while dating, adds more stress than solutions.
September 21, 2007
A relationship gets too costly to bear when only one side is paying emotionally as well as financially.
September 20, 2007
Children generally feel that their parents’ sex life is “Too Much Information.”
September 19, 2007
A loving partner doesn’t listen to family insulting you.
September 18, 2007
Relationships kept in the dark often don’t survive in the light.
September 17, 2007
In-law troubles can break up a family, if there aren’t boundaries against intrusions and control.
September 15, 2007
A relationship based on one person always giving in, is headed for trouble.
September 14, 2007
A partner who indulges in deceit and demands is dangerous to your self-esteem and well-being.
September 13, 2007
Staying with a guy who’s trolling for others, says more about you than him.
September 12, 2007
Starting a serious relationship with a secret is a recipe for living with tension and fear.
September 11, 2007
Use this anniversary of tragedy and loss, to acknowledge the loved ones in your life and the importance of your relationships.
September 10, 2007
When you stoop to snoop, you may end up fighting shadows in your own mind.
September 08, 2007
Moving forward after a bad break-up means being open to new possibilities, showing interest and being interesting.
September 07, 2007
Hostile post-divorce relationships can cause more harm to children than to either spouse.
September 06, 2007
When emotions from a past divorce interfere with sex in a relationship, it’s time for professional help.
September 05, 2007
Living with suspicion and insecurity is counterproductive - damaging to the very relationship you wish to secure.
September 04, 2007
Low libido is a problem that both partners need to address with intention, not blame.
September 03, 2007
Partners who’re always giving “lessons” in behaviour, are usually controllers, not teachers.
September 01, 2007
When a partner is haunted by old baggage, no relationship can thrive.
August 31, 2007
A relationship that exists only in one person’s mind, is not real.
August 30, 2007
An online “friendship” isn’t a romance until you start dating in person.
August 29, 2007
An affair is an affair, and can’t necessarily predict the potential for a happily married union.
August 28, 2007
When a snorer’s in denial, a tape recorder can provide the wake-up message.
August 27, 2007
Living together in conflict and tension is often counter-productive to the goal of family unity.
August 25, 2007
Forgiving a past affair isn’t enough, if you constantly remind your self and your partner about it.
August 24, 2007
It’s an old adage but it rings true in relationships – keep doing what you always did, and you’ll always get the same result.
August 23, 2007
Emotions run high enough at wedding time, without letting old, contentious issues become related to the event.
August 22, 2007
When a partner’s trust has been betrayed, it’s inevitable that other resentments will surface.
August 21, 2007
In-law problems are never helped by childish tit-for tat reactions.
August 20, 2007
Decisions about having children shouldn’t be made in fear.
August 18, 2007
When a lazy habit threatens a relationship, it’s time to shape up and change the pattern.
August 17, 2007
Bad marriages needn’t be life sentences, if you actively seek help in fixing or changing the situation.
August 16, 2007
Looking sexy sometimes is a treat for your partner, so long as you’re not trying to be a copy of someone else.
August 15, 2007
If you suspect you’re leading someone on, you are.
August 14, 2007
When one partner’s drinking has the other partner suspicious and judgmental, that’s a drinking problem that needs to be addressed openly, and together.
August 13, 2007
A cheater can reform through understanding what motivated him/her, and how to replace that behaviour.
August 11, 2007
Single parents need to seek potential partners who are supportive to their responsibilities to their children.
August 10, 2007
Pushing your relationship on others is often a sign of neediness and/or insecurity.
August 09, 2007
While some romance breakups are expensive financially, they’re object lessons in learning to exercise character judgment even when dealing from the heart.
August 08, 2007
Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage; it also opens up unexpected possibilities, whether good or bad.
August 07, 2007
Paranoia can destroy relationships and self-esteem unless treated at its root cause.
August 06, 2007
A relationship at any age has many of the same needs as previous ones, especially for compromise.
August 04, 2007
Resolving in-law issues often involves getting objective help to see the part played by all the parties involved.
August 03, 2007
Closure of a relationship doesn’t necessarily come to you from another person’s explanation; it comes more surely from within yourself, when you accept that it’s over.
August 02, 2007
Accepting that a relationship is over often requires distancing yourself and your judgment from the other person’s choices.
August 01, 2007
When an extra-marital affair goes sour, it’s likely the whole situation that’s not working.
July 31, 2007
Being friends with benefits only works if both parties are sure they’ll not later want more commitment.
July 30, 2007
When an ex comes up with rules for staying “friends,” you can expect there’ll be further demands.
July 28, 2007
When an ex-spouse gets married again, it's time to drop unnecessary contact (except regarding children) unless it's mutually comfortable.
July 27, 2007
A close friendship can develop into a relationship, but only if at least one party takes the chance to raise the possibility.
July 26, 2007
The family harm caused by substance abuse requires thoughtful, long-term repair.
July 25, 2007
An imbalance in a couple's sexual needs should be addressed and negotiated, before it puts the whole relationship at risk.
July 24, 2007
When jealousy strikes, work at rising above it rather than let it defeat you.
July 23, 2007
When a spouse shows little commitment, the partner has to decide what he/she can't accept.
July 21, 2007
Raising children is a choice that’s best made from a basis of love, not need.
July 20, 2007
Long distance relationships can’t survive without communication that’s sensitive to each others’ feelings.
July 19, 2007
You can’t repair a marriage if you’re distracting yourself with work and playing around.
July 18, 2007
When someone has reciprocal feelings for you, they somehow let you know.
July 17, 2007
When a friend sets out on a trouble-strewn path, a warning is better than turning away.
July 16, 2007
Bitterness over separation agreements eventually affects children; learn your rights and deal with them.
July 14, 2007
A repeat pattern of ending relationships through suspicions should trigger self-reflection and/or counselling on ways to change.
July 13, 2007
When there’s a major boost in finances, couples need to share the responsibilities as well as the joy.
July 12, 2007
An adult child can effectively give an unfaithful parent a needed wake-up call.
July 11, 2007
When discussing the next big step in a relationship, make sure you both hear and agree with each other’s expectations from it.
July 10, 2007
Sometimes you have to let an ex go, to help them move on independently.
July 09, 2007
If the idea of an open relationship seems enticing, be sure you think through all the consequences.
July 07, 2007
When a contentious issue is beyond solution, it often becomes the deal-breaker in a relationship.
July 06, 2007
A mutual friend has no ownership over the new buddies' friendship.
July 05, 2007
When a couple's time is constantly intruded upon, they need to discuss setting boundaries, and why the interference was permitted.
July 04, 2007
If an ex fires up sparks, there's risk of burning through your primary relationship.
July 03, 2007
A small mistake can become a huge headache, unless you handle it quickly and openly.
July 02, 2007
Forgiveness of a past betrayal is admirable, but accepting ongoing put-downs is self-defeating.
June 29, 2007
A marriage entered into without love or companionship is an arrangement that's bound to become dissatisfying.
June 28, 2007
When it's impossible to communicate, couples need professional counselling.
June 27, 2007
Divorce is not the logical solution to outside stresses and should be decided after other crises are handled.
June 26, 2007
When a difference of opinion is a potential deal-breaker, weigh your choices.
June 25, 2007
A double life usually leads to double the hurt all around; it's better to choose.
June 23, 2007
You can get my personal help with in-laws through my weekly TV show, Outlaw In-Laws, on Slice. See ww.helpmyfamily.ca. for more information.
June 22, 2007
When practical solutions don't resolve a household standoff, counselling is needed.
June 21, 2007
No matter how self-protective a lie may be, it's ultimately bound to have a negative effect on a relationship that you were dishonest.
June 20, 2007
When a potential partner acts like a carefree, irresponsible single, you can expect to be leaned on for the serious matters.
June 19, 2007
Changes in sexual desire usually have a reason that needs exploring, rather than a threat of escape.
June 18, 2007
Loving step-parents should be celebrated.
June 16, 2007
Serial relationships don't leave time for learning from the past.
June 15, 2007
Intrusive in-laws take a great risk of eventually being left out.
June 14, 2007
A romantic escape is often the clue that your reality needs to be changed.
June 13, 2007
It's up to the adult child to set boundaries with critical parents.
June 12, 2007
Sometimes, the messes you created have gone too far to fix, and the people you betrayed should be left alone.
June 11, 2007
When parents' rules seem strict, try various compromises, but always prove yourself worth their trust.
June 09, 2007
When a family member risks serious trouble, be direct, not passive.
June 08, 2007
Family support needs to be positive and encouraging, not critical.
June 07, 2007
When a partner seeks flights of fantasy it's time for the whole relationship to undergo a reality check.
June 06, 2007
Abusive relationships are destructive to everyone involved.
June 05, 2007
Sometimes it's the little things that signal warnings of far bigger relationship problems.
June 04, 2007
Every relationship involves obligations, yet some need to be weighed against personal unhappiness.
June 02, 2007
The Rescuer is often NOT the person turned to for a next equal partnership.
June 01, 2007
Don’t return to an old relationship expecting it to be exactly the same.
May 31, 2007
When a partner seizes power, refuse to be dominated.
May 30, 2007
Advice should be geared to solutions and improvement, not to judgment and punishment.
May 29, 2007
Questioning one’s own sexual orientation is a personal quest that requires time for acceptance and adjustment.
May 28, 2007
A good therapy relationship requires a good “fit” and a willing client.
May 26, 2007
Discussions about a pre-nuptial agreement should always be guided by a professional advisor.
May 24, 2007
An emotional relationship may be the real thing, or an escape from reality.
May 23, 2007
The most important factor about an age difference is your comfort level with it.
May 22, 2007
When parents dump their marital problems on grown children, make them responsible for their own lives.
May 21, 2007
Being a "friend" doesn't come with a right to judge or burst the other person's bubble in deeply personal matters.
May 19, 2007
When a flirt is met with the annoyance of both partners in a couple, the challenge fizzles.
May 18, 2007
Since you're judged by the company you choose, judge yourself accordingly.
May 17, 2007
Secrets and lies will eventually create more trouble than the image you tried to invent.
May 16, 2007
It's an unfortunate reality that addictions often play havoc with relationships.
May 15, 2007
Creative planning can turn a relationship crossroads into a bonding opportunity.
May 14, 2007
When one partner won't compromise, be prepared that tough issues will always lead to pitched battles.
May 12, 2007
Some long-term promises, if broken, will destroy the relationship they seek to secure.
May 11, 2007
You cannot be your brother's keeper, only a ready support when wanted.
May 10, 2007
Intimacy takes closeness and openness that sometimes requires time to flourish sexually.
May 09, 2007
Grandparents are an important source of support for their grandchildren, but can lose their opportunity if they act as meddlers.
May 08, 2007
A "tipster" on someone else's relationship is otherwise called a troublemaker.
May 07, 2007
When a family relationship is toxic, weigh the benefits you wanted against the troubles you're experiencing
May 05, 2007
Relationship chat about who’s paying for what needs to happen between the couple, without gossipy input from outsiders.
May 04, 2007
Parents' sexual secrets shouldn't be disclosed to children who aren't mature enough to handle the information.
May 03, 2007
A loveless marriage can be lonelier than living on your own.
May 02, 2007
Snooping is a sure way to express your own distrust and turn curiosity into trouble.
May 01, 2007
Despite a family break-up, do not destroy the worthwhile links that still exist with your most important relatives.
April 30, 2007
For adult children, financial support from parents sometimes comes with too high a cost.
April 28, 2007
Workplace dating that seems problematic from the start, is better off avoided.
April 27, 2007
Inviting an ex-spouse to the wedding is a decision that belongs only to the bride and groom, and should be made early enough not to build false expectations in anyone involved.
April 26, 2007
A first kiss is only an introduction, not a do-or-die performance.
April 25, 2007
On issues of child support and asset-splitting, learn the legal rights and responsibilities of both sides.
April 24, 2007
The work of maturing from a teenage romance to a responsible child-rearing couple often needs guidance.
April 23, 2007
When one partner holds back, the other often pushes harder for a commitment.
April 21, 2007
A dating gripe site needs to be read with an eye for others’ personal motives.
April 20, 2007
Smokers need their own motivation to quit; loved ones can only be supportive to those efforts.
April 19, 2007
An innocent rose shouldn’t be soured by jealousy.
April 18, 2007
Sexual turn-ons between two consenting adults require mutual comfort, as well as agreed limits.
April 17, 2007
A gentle outreach to get to know someone better, can open the door for later contact.
April 16, 2007
Rather than leave children with a troubled parent, the other parent should first try everything possible to improve the home atmosphere.
April 14, 2007
When there's an obvious lie, privacy is a secondary issue.
April 13, 2007
Secret relationships often have a way of suddenly exploding into full view.
April 12, 2007
The therapist/client relationship has to feel like a good fit on both sides.
April 11, 2007
When every sound from a partner is off-putting, listen closer to your own heart.
April 10, 2007
Moving in together is not a "fix" for existing doubts about a relationship.
April 09, 2007
Gossip about a family's private details can reap destructive results.
April 07, 2007
In-law problems can't get resolved if the person who's upset has a spouse who stays detached.
April 06, 2007
When a marriage is troubled, look to major repair work instead of picking at sore spots.
April 05, 2007
Family interference in adult relationships often pushes the relative further away.
April 04, 2007
When major life changes put stress on relationships, professional help can ease communication and understanding.
April 03, 2007
Some kinds of personal risk-taking are too much for a partner to bear.
April 02, 2007
Relationships are not best achieved by choosing "either/or."
March 31, 2007
Internet love affairs are a beginning, requiring personal meetings to become real.
March 30, 2007
Small-stuff critiques can erode a relationship.
March 29, 2007
Differing lifestyle expectations can destroy relationships.
March 28, 2007
Teenagers’ angry behaviour is sometimes a covert cry for help.
March 27, 2007
Lending money frequently can ruin a relationship.
March 26, 2007
Email slip-ups can create havoc in relationships. Think first.
March 24, 2007
When a partner handles money matters secretly, it's time to discuss more than the budget.
March 23, 2007
Mutual sensitivity is a must in any relationship.
March 22, 2007
A cheater can change, if he/she has the will and self-knowledge to do so.
March 21, 2007
You can't test a romance for long-term possibilities if there's a third partner in the picture.
March 20, 2007
Do not let friends dictate your loyalties, according to their whims.
March 19, 2007
Stirring up an old emotional can spread the sadness further.
March 17, 2007
When a partner's porn-watching is disturbing to you, it's no longer a private matter.
March 16, 2007
Letting friends know of their body odour is a favour to them as well as yourself.
March 15, 2007
When children change their normal behaviour, explore what prompted it.
March 14, 2007
You can avoid the hoopla of a birthday, but it's foolish to try to avoid your age and stage.
March 13, 2007
Going after someone else's full-time partner, is looking for trouble.
March 12, 2007
Finding a date/mate takes trying new approaches and showing flexibility.
March 10, 2007
When you have strong suspicions, odds are you need to discover some facts.
March 09, 2007
Before sharing your credit card, check out the reasons for being asked.
March 08, 2007
Rejecting a partner sexually is a sure way to not achieve the improvements you seek.
March 07, 2007
Not confronting a relative’s repeated racist remarks is tantamount to accepting them.
March 06, 2007
Shyness can sometimes be helped by enriching your own life and interests.
March 05, 2007
The solution to a loveless marriage requires thoughtful weighing of options.
March 02, 2007
You can't force someone to quit smoking, but you can show how much you care for their health.
March 01, 2007
It's never too late to apologize again for a mistake.
February 28, 2007
Don't let family/social niceties interfere with protecting your child from aggression.
February 27, 2007
When a partner can't accept your responsibility to children, you're facing a deal-breaker.
February 26, 2007
Until a couple has The Talk, there are chances for misunderstandings and confusions about their relationship.
February 24, 2007
Relationship “solutions” that are tossed out in rage usually create far worse problems.
February 23, 2007
When a whole household is troubled, there’s more than one solution needed to calm it.
February 22, 2007
There's more to finding a partner than scoring high as a catch.
February 21, 2007
If you let a pet peeve grow unresolved, you may end up with less friends and bigger problems.
February 20, 2007
Don’t let fear blind you to how far you’ve come away from a difficult past.
February 19, 2007
No relationship can thrive when one partner’s self-interest always comes first.
February 17, 2007
When divorce is unavoidable, look to the children's best interests first.
February 15, 2007
Cultural and/or age gaps can be bridged, so long as others' disapproval doesn't win out.
February 14, 2007
Hope and optimism are necessary companions, if life is to move forward from tougher times.
February 13, 2007
Improving your self-esteem is an ongoing voyage of discovery and learning.
February 12, 2007
If you want people to ignore your bad record, you need to show you're improving it.
February 10, 2007
Cheating just for kicks is a habit that dies hard.
February 09, 2007
Focus on your positive attributes to increase confidence in all areas.
February 08, 2007
When a partner’s anger becomes destructive, and change is unlikely, it’s time to save yourself.
February 07, 2007
Non-custodial parents often need a support network to help them handle their feelings of loss.
February 06, 2007
Parenting etiquette involves common sense and consideration of others, along with your child’s needs.
February 05, 2007
The more open you are to making friends, the more you broaden your network for eventually meeting someone with whom you connect romantically.
|
