Tip of the Day Archive
Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage; it also opens up unexpected possibilities, whether good or bad.
Paranoia can destroy relationships and self-esteem unless treated at its root cause.
A relationship at any age has many of the same needs as previous ones, especially for compromise.
Resolving in-law issues often involves getting objective help to see the part played by all the parties involved.
Closure of a relationship doesn’t necessarily come to you from another person’s explanation; it comes more surely from within yourself, when you accept that it’s over.
Accepting that a relationship is over often requires distancing yourself and your judgment from the other person’s choices.
When an extra-marital affair goes sour, it’s likely the whole situation that’s not working.
Being friends with benefits only works if both parties are sure they’ll not later want more commitment.
When an ex comes up with rules for staying “friends,” you can expect there’ll be further demands.
When an ex-spouse gets married again, it’s time to drop unnecessary contact (except regarding children) unless it’s mutually comfortable.
A close friendship can develop into a relationship, but only if at least one party takes the chance to raise the possibility.
The family harm caused by substance abuse requires thoughtful, long-term repair.
An imbalance in a couple’s sexual needs should be addressed and negotiated, before it puts the whole relationship at risk.
When jealousy strikes, work at rising above it rather than let it defeat you.
When a spouse shows little commitment, the partner has to decide what he/she can’t accept.
Raising children is a choice that’s best made from a basis of love, not need.
Long distance relationships can’t survive without communication that’s sensitive to each others’ feelings.
You can’t repair a marriage if you’re distracting yourself with work and playing around.
When someone has reciprocal feelings for you, they somehow let you know.
When a friend sets out on a trouble-strewn path, a warning is better than turning away.
Bitterness over separation agreements eventually affects children; learn your rights and deal with them.
A repeat pattern of ending relationships through suspicions should trigger self-reflection and/or counselling on ways to change.
When there’s a major boost in finances, couples need to share the responsibilities as well as the joy.
An adult child can effectively give an unfaithful parent a needed wake-up call.
When discussing the next big step in a relationship, make sure you both hear and agree with each other’s expectations from it.
Sometimes you have to let an ex go, to help them move on independently.
If the idea of an open relationship seems enticing, be sure you think through all the consequences.
When a contentious issue is beyond solution, it often becomes the deal-breaker in a relationship.
A mutual friend has no ownership over the new buddies’ friendship.
When a couple’s time is constantly intruded upon, they need to discuss setting boundaries, and why the interference was permitted.
If an ex fires up sparks, there’s risk of burning through your primary relationship.
A small mistake can become a huge headache, unless you handle it quickly and openly.
Forgiveness of a past betrayal is admirable, but accepting ongoing put-downs is self-defeating.
A marriage entered into without love or companionship is an arrangement that’s bound to become dissatisfying.
When it’s impossible to communicate, couples need professional counselling.
Divorce is not the logical solution to outside stresses and should be decided after other crises are handled.
When a difference of opinion is a potential deal-breaker, weigh your choices.
A double life usually leads to double the hurt all around; it’s better to choose.
You can get my personal help with in-laws through my weekly TV show, Outlaw In-Laws, on Slice. See ww.helpmyfamily.ca. for more information.
When practical solutions don’t resolve a household standoff, counselling is needed.
No matter how self-protective a lie may be, it’s ultimately bound to have a negative effect on a relationship that you were dishonest.
When a potential partner acts like a carefree, irresponsible single, you can expect to be leaned on for the serious matters.
Changes in sexual desire usually have a reason that needs exploring, rather than a threat of escape.
Loving step-parents should be celebrated.
Serial relationships don’t leave time for learning from the past.
Intrusive in-laws take a great risk of eventually being left out.
A romantic escape is often the clue that your reality needs to be changed.
It’s up to the adult child to set boundaries with critical parents.
Sometimes, the messes you created have gone too far to fix, and the people you betrayed should be left alone.