I lived with a divorced lady for nine years, as the best of friends, and soul mates with the perfect relationship.
She’d been previously married at age 20 for just seven months.
Thirty-seven years later, her first husband, who’d re-married, came back into her life.
She asked me to leave and has been having an affair with him.
What are the odds of this "fantasy" surviving? He's wealthy. Would he give up half his wealth, and divorce his current wife to marry her?
How long before the "mistress thing” grows stale?
And at her age, what does she do if it doesn't work out? I've moved on. But it's a hard thing to get over at this stage of my life.

- Dumped

All your concerns against her counting on this “fantasy,” as you call it, are sound. But you’re offering them to the wind; she’s not listening.
She may have carried some unresolved feeling, that she needed to “right” the upset of her young life when she divorced. It’s even possible that her ex-husband felt the same way.
Will it work? That’s the unknown factor in every risky relationship and this one unquestionably has the odds against it.
What’s more certain, however, is that you won’t have moved on completely - until you stop speculating about and bearing witness to this woman’s life.

My daughter, 10, plays basketball in a local program but hasn't played very much.
When approached, the program director said that the reason she doesn't play is that she isn’t very good! Their web site claims, “Our mission is to provide competitive high quality basketball competition in a compassionate environment. Girls Basketball is about the player learning how to play, making correct decisions and becoming successful at the highest level.”
Where’s the compassion?
He said his remarks and laughed about it while my daughter’s heart is broken and upset.

- Disappointed Mother

There’s more work to do here, Mom, to help your daughter be comfortable about herself and her abilities. Go back to the director (or his supervisor if one exists) to discuss this. Say that it’s unacceptable to you to have your daughter in a program that discourages her rather than helps her improve.
If there’s no change, talk to other parents in the program; some may feel as you do about the approach. As a group, you can more effectively insist on changes.
Conversely, more parents may’ve sought the competitive aspect of the program. If so, you’ve unwittingly placed your daughter in an activity that doesn’t suit her. Better, then to find another program that has more of a teaching component.
The task of being the kind of encouraging parent you clearly mean to be, goes beyond finding programs. It involves doing the research and follow-through to see that they deliver what’s promised, and then responding if there’s a problem.
Most important is to not let your daughter emerge from this program feeling like a loser; she simply may not be ready for it’s level.
If it’s obvious that she needs a boost of skills, there may be other programs that are instructional; if not, try to find someone (such as a local teenager) who can help her practice.
Meanwhile, if there’s another sport, craft or activity in which she’s more easily successful, make sure she’s involved in it, too.
She’s entering an adolescent stage where building her self-confidence is far more important than arguing with a narrow-focused sports director.

Can you please tell me how much "porn" is normal? I accidentally came upon a very large number of pornographic video files downloaded on our computer by my husband, and I'm not sure if I should approach him about it. Is there such a thing as addiction to porn?

- Time for Concern?

In any relationship, repeated secrecy is something to be concerned about, and is an indicator that the person involved has a serious attachment to whatever he/she’s hiding.
You need to open a non-blaming but factual conversation with your husband about his covert involvement with porn.
Pornography addiction exists; it’s a form of sex addiction resulting from the overuse or abuse of porn.
See www.therapistlocator.net to find a therapist in your area.
You both need to become informed about the causes and effects of this addiction. Your husband will also be guided to acknowledge his level of compulsion.