I'm 38, and my wife of 13 years is 37. We have two great kids, seven, and 12.

Three years ago, she had an affair with someone from our trailer park. He was a hunk with big muscles and tattoos. I watched her follow him around hungrily for three years before the affair began.

She slept with two other guys from the park (once each). Booze was a big factor, and she’s since quit drinking.

We've seen a counsellor once; I've gone myself. Both therapists said I couldn't resolve anything unless she’d participate. She never did.

Soon after it all came out, she said I should let it go; the past is past, no discussion.

She often complains about our sex life, and almost never comes on to me. She says it’s the man’s job, although she chased this other guy.

We have sex four to five times a week and I'd always thought it was good.

I once felt proudly faithful to her since I was 18. Now I feel like a fool. She’d cheated on me early on, but I felt it’d be different once we got married.

She’s finally agreed to go to a therapist together. She brought it all up, and I went off! She now realizes that I've been hanging on to a lot of anger.

My problem: I don't know what she can handle. I have a lot to say. I think about cheating all the time. Not for revenge, but because I want to feel someone’s having sex with me because they want me, not because I'm the only option. I want to have something to compare our sex to.

I fear therapy may make things worse. Our relationship’s almost perfect, other than sex and this affair. What’s not okay to say in therapy?

Thinking Ahead

You can’t get “past the past” by holding back your feelings of hurt, sexual diminishment, and anger. She can’t get past her part, by refusing to hear those feelings.

Yes, therapy can rake all this up. But it’s likely the only way you’ll manage to stay together, without you cheating in search of affirmation (doesn’t always work), and her going back to cheating and taking you for granted.

Decide what you can handle – a few more years at best of feeling insecure with her, and untrusting if some new guy comes along? What about the effect on the children’s home environment?

Or, a chance to discover whether she can confront her own demons? And the possibility you two can re-create your relationship… maybe.

I love my wife of eight years; we have three children. My parents and my wife don’t get along.

Recently, my parents took the kids for a weekend and they fought in front of them. My son, nine, said he didn’t like being alone with them.

Now we’re having a hard time letting them go anywhere with my parents alone.

They’re questioning my parenting. I don’t want the children exposed to that.

Am I Wrong?

Your kids’ emotional well being is a priority, and sometimes requires putting limits on negative influences, even from your own parents.

It never hurts to reflect on your own parenting skills but, when comfortable with your joint decisions with your wife, you must stand firm.

Tell your parents you love them, but they must respect your ways, and your boundaries. They must not make children uncomfortable with fights in front of them. If they persist in doing so, they can only visit with them when you and/or your wife are present.

I'm 15, and felt my boyfriend was losing interest because he was talking to another girl. I asked him about it on ask.fm, but other people chimed in. It became a huge mess for which I'm blamed.

(I told one friend about my questions. She told my boyfriend AND THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. He believed her that I was "lying," and dropped me.)

I'm now afraid to talk to him. All his friends hate me. I’ve gained weight since; he probably won't want me back.

Tortured Teen

You’ve learned a tough but important lesson – nothing online is truly anonymous or private. Not revealing personal “secrets” is usually the best policy.

This episode will pass, IF you stop stressing, and work on firming up your self-confidence. Your ex-boyfriend didn’t believe you, so he’s not so great. Your “friend” was untrustworthy. It’s your own self-esteem you need to get certain about. Talk to your parents for their support.