I'm in university abroad, living with two people. One person (X) and I had become really good friends. But since moving into this house he's behaved like a dictator - his rules, even though we all pay rent.

Early on, I sensed tension between us, so I offered a blanket apology for anything I may've said or done to insult him.

He only said that he knew he was superior to everyone else. He's aggressive whenever I express an opinion contrary to his, and he perceives everything I say as a critique of either this country (his), or the house.

I've been told repeatedly that my opinions don't matter, because I'm from another country.

Recently, the third roommate wanted to discuss the tension. It was agreed that X and I couldn't repair what's happened between us. I can't trust him anymore, having had things I said in confidence thrown back at me.

But I want to make the situation less uncomfortable for the third person. I'm struggling with how to co-exist now. I'm afraid everything and anything I say is going to be taken as a slight by X.

What's the best approach to make this situation live-able? Moving out isn't an option until June.

Tired of the Drama

Avoid X as much as possible. Take advantage of friendships to spend some time away from the house. And, when possible, get involved with activities elsewhere.

Be cordial to your other roommate but don't form an obvious alliance against X unless you both find his rules intolerable, in which case she'll have to speak up and insist all three find compromises.

If X becomes more aggressive and you fear his behaviour, seek help from student services.... if he gets physical, go to the university police, or city police.

Something has turned this guy.... perhaps school pressure. But you don't have to accept this stress; you're not to blame. Be alert and protect yourself if needed.

I'm 60, with two sons. My eldest is 37, and always acted like an only child. He took my divorce after 17 years very badly.

His own first marriage lasted 11 months. I paid $10,000 toward their wedding; my mom borrowed and gave $3,500. I said they should return the gifts and cash ($25,000). He said they'd divided it all. I asked him to repay his grandma $1500 to help pay off her credit card. He was very annoyed.

When he married again, my husband and I bought 12 settings of dinnerware they'd listed. At the wedding, his bride didn't speak to us. A year later, none of my family has received a thank-you note.

My son says his wife feels "uncomfortable" with us. He stopped calling his brother. He hasn't called or seen us in almost a year. They also took me off Facebook.

Lost Son

He likely was "lost" years ago, and never regained an emotional bond to his own family after the divorce. You list a lot of financial gifts, but he clearly never was moved, or appreciated these as special.

Instead, he's found the isolation that he wanted - at least from your side - through his second wife.

It's hard to forgive, but as a mother it's also hard to forget. Keep occasional contact through birthday and other cards, showing you're there if and when he wants to re-connect.

He may eventually miss and/or need blood relatives.... but don't count on it. Live your life without unrealistic expectations from him, nor bad-mouthing him and his wife either. It achieves nothing worthwhile.

My closest friends are all late-20s, married, and having babies. I've loved this guy from afar. We finally started dating a year ago.

He could be The One but I find he's non-communicative. He says he loves me, but then he clams up when I want to discuss our future.

Confused

It seems that when you loved "from afar," you hardly knew this guy. Are you pushing this relationship because of your friends? You've said nothing of what kind of life you see with him, which makes him seem The One.

Make a list of what you want in the near future - travel or a homey lifestyle, babies and family life soon, or freedom as a couple to go out, share outside interests, etc. Get him to make a list and see if they come close to matching. But if he can't commit to even a list, move on.