I married my first husband at 19 because my mom didn't like us living together (in sin). We loved and fought and the sex was amazing! We tried to have kids but I miscarried, then my mom died of cancer…we had a rough patch there.    
      After five years, I had a friendship with a co-worker that became an affair (I’m VERY ashamed!). I wanted to end it, but he came to my house professing love for me.
      I was terrified, said I’d leave my husband and move in with him, but I really didn’t want to. I was scared he’d expose our affair, so I divorced and married my second hubby.    
      I’m now 45; married for 18 years with three kids and still miss my old life and my ex-husband. This marriage is okay and I don’t want to divorce him.    
      I just want to come to terms with how I made a choice based on pleasing someone else, and with my poor lack of morals and low self-confidence all those years ago?
      - My Mistakes

The “life” you miss from that time is irretrievable; your ex may be very different now, and may even be grateful that your too-young marriage ended, so that he’s had a chance to grow.    
      You’ve grown, too – enough to feel honest embarrassment, which is healthy for learning from mistakes. But wallowing in regrets is a waste of energy.
      You may think you married to please your second husband, but in truth you did it to avoid the shame of having had an affair. Your basic moral code was against that behaviour, but youth and its accompanying insecurity took hold.    
      Now, free yourself from the self-blaming that holds you in the past (and from your late mother’s voice playing in your head). Instead, approach improving your marriage for your own sake. You’d benefit from personal counselling during this effort.

My boyfriend of eight years (off and on) and I are both ambitious professionals, late-30s. For Chinese New Year, my parents hosted a large dinner party. We were all disgusted when my boyfriend brought his leftovers (four pieces of samosas) from a company lunch, for 30 people to share.      
      In my culture, Chinese New Year is a huge extravaganza. When people visit, it’s a tradition to bring something, e.g. a bag of oranges, fresh flowers, a cake, or a gift, etc.    
      He’s always brought nothing. I don’t know whether it’s from his upbringing (a broken family) or just a bad habit. Yet when he goes to a colleague's house or work event, he impresses them with lavish gifts.    
      Friends say he doesn't love or care about me and only comes over on weekends for convenience. Will he change? Should I stay or leave?
      - Turning Point

You’re full of judgment, but apparently lacking in communication. Had you told this longtime boyfriend the expectations of your cultural celebration, and been clear how much it mattered to you that he follow through, you could call his actions unacceptable. If that’s the case, end the relationship … it has no future.        
      BUT, it seems that instead of helping him know what would make you and your parents pleased and proud, you preferred to badmouth the guy to your friends.     
      You’re the one not ready for a sharing, caring relationship. You can’t know about his readiness, because you don’t give him a chance.    
      Either talk to him as an open, respectful companion who wants things to work out, or move on.

When it comes to video games, is it an “addiction” to play four to five hours nightly and 18 hours daily from Thursday through Sunday, and on any other days off work? It’s been going on for 20 years. Any advice?
      - Fed Up

You know the answer having lived with this behaviour for two decades. But, instead of asking me to define it – presumably so you can wave the accusation at your spouse – consider, instead, the effect.    
      This man has purposefully distanced himself from you and from participating in family life … and you’ve either accepted it, or just given up.     
      Now, decide: If you still care about him, you can try to help him fight the addiction by finding a behaviour modification therapist and a support group and encourage him to handle his gaming obsession.     
      Otherwise, you can pull the plug on what has to be a lonely, unsatisfying union.