I’m a 32-year-old male ashamed of my penis and too embarrassed to undress before a partner; I’ve had only two in my life. I don't usually get much erection and have never felt as virile as other men, though I’m healthy. Even during coitus, I’ve never been vigorous, though I’ve been complimented for being gentle. I don't drink, have never taken drugs and am on no medicine. I believe penis enlargements are a sham and damaging; I’ve never tried them and don’t want to. What can I do?

- Embarrassed

Stop measuring and start increasing your confidence through hard facts. Scientific studies have proven that sexual satisfaction is due to several things, and size is only one aspect. Anecdotally, many people say they achieve the most satisfaction from oral sex; they also report that satisfaction also depends on their emotional feelings towards a partner. Your gentleness is a good start. Penis size is determined by genetics and varies between men. Experts say the average penis size for the mature non-erect adult is in the range 2.5 to 4.5 inches (6-11 centimeters). The average adult erect penis is in the range 4 to 8 inches (10-20 centimeters). Worry less, and keep your hopes up for a fulfilling relationship.

• For more information on penis size check out: http://menshealth.about.com/cs/penishealth/a/penis_size.htm

Our son has two young daughters; my husband and I are amicably separated. However, my daughter-in-law is convinced that I want to undermine her marriage, and represent a danger to her children. She’s blocked contact between us and the children, other than a few birthday parties where we’ve been included. They see a great deal of her parents. We’ve asked to talk out the problems, but she refuses. Our son brings the children to see us when she’s away, infrequently. Recently we attended her grandmother’s funeral, and while speaking to her parents, I heard the four-year-old say, “Grandma (the other one), Mummy said not to speak to Oma (me).” And the child, too, hasn’t spoken to me since. Our son doesn’t understand why we’re hurt. He explains that the child made it up. I won’t say my behaviour to her has been perfect, but it’s undeserving of this treatment. What can we do?

- Heartsore

Your son is letting you down and using excuses to cover his weak behaviour. If you’ve offended his wife, he needs to tell you exactly what she’s feeling and why, so you can apologize. He also needs to tell your daughter-in-law that he insists his children be permitted to have a relationship with his mother and father. His wife doesn’t have to love you and your husband, but she must respect you as his parents. And you must show respect for her place in his life. Though you’re all at an unhappy impasse now, it is possible to develop a cordial in-law relationship over time, IF the person who’s been hiding in the middle – your son – steps up to his responsibility to mediate and push for family harmony.

I’m 36, female, attractive, successful; I have friends and family but nobody with whom to share my life. Since my last relationship 10 years ago, I suffered an abortion and many headaches with men. I’m lonely but want to avoid unhealthy relationships. However, I’m always pressured, even by strangers, about why I’m single. Is it possible for a person to stay alone and not seem odd, depressed and socially weird? I don’t want to say it’s because I cannot get a man; besides I still date (and still daydream; it’s not 100 per cent choice to remain single). Also, a lot of men see me as too independent. I travel extensively, and avidly volunteer. I’m tired of questions about the one area of my life I haven’t got going, when the rest is so great.

- Too Many Questions

You owe answers only to yourself. With close, caring people, respond firmly but kindly that you’re happily single by choice; you’ll tell them if your status changes, but you don’t appreciate questions. After that, change the subject. With strangers, change topic immediately. As for yourself, I suspect that past bad experiences are shadowing you, and interfering with the optimism and self-confidence you bring to other areas of your successful life. Consider individual counselling whereby a professional therapist can help you be more self-forgiving about the past and more open towards the possibilities of the future.