I’m seeking your views and those of others’ who’ve used high-end dating organizations. I’m 37, male, straight, and have had three long-term relationships since age 18.
I’m a medical professional with inherited family wealth. I’m decent looking, outgoing, but lately haven’t been happy with my dating through contacts in my own network.
Recently, I attended my university’s homecoming and reconnected with a guy who said he met his amazing girlfriend through an exclusive dating agency. It’s contacted only through a referral service, and really expensive.
His date said she’s a professional from a wealthy family and used the same agency. They were matched on different criteria, but ultimately discovered each other.
Later that week, I got a text with a webpage and pass code. The company claims to match high-profile individuals in North America, with successful marriages.
I had to agree to a confidentiality agreement not to share any of this information or be sued for $100,000.
My mother said I’d be crazy to spend so much money to find my true love. The process is intrusive into your background and finances. If I proceed, she believed there’d be no turning back because of the way everything’s set up.
I have 30 days to get back to these people with a response. Legal paper work arrived via courier. Our family lawyer’s looking at it.
I’d appreciate any feedback on my story, bad or good.
On the Brink
Dear Readers – Share your stories, if you’ve encountered such a high-level dating service, and been happy or otherwise. Or, if you’ve done very well dating on your own, or with less expensive dating sites.
Ellie – There are Matchmaker services, which call themselves just that, are legal and credible and go to great lengths to find a true match for their clients. The price varies with agencies, and is usually confidential to the client, but I’m aware of $25,000 as one fee mentioned. These are expensive businesses to run, and some charge what the traffic will bear.
One Matchmaker told me honestly, “Some clients don’t feel you’re exclusive or good enough to attract the kind of partner they’re seeking, unless you charge high.”
In this case, the legal implications are crucial for you to know. If they can’t find you a match that’s mutually satisfying, ask what’s the time limit on their search, without you having to pay? And, without withholding your deposit, say, because they claim you’re too picky?
I’ll publish a selection of readers’ responses soon.
My girlfriend often gets angry with me for not cleaning the kitchen floor well enough to meet her exacting standards. Her level of anger has become a problem in our relationship.
She maintains that it’s my fault and she’s justified in getting very angry to the point where our relationship is damaged.
I maintain that you cannot blame anybody else for your anger; it’s your own responsibility.
Solution #1 - IF you share the household chores and do them willingly, then she can either show you her “better way,” or switch that chore with you for something else.
#2 - IF she’s a clean freak and nothing you do satisfies her, you can pick up other tasks – shopping, cooking – or hire a cleaning service every two weeks.
#3 - IF she’s always excessively angry, she should go for anger management and/or you two need couples’ counselling.
#4 – Take a break. Arguing back at her about who’s responsible for the anger is useless. It escalates the small problems, while avoiding a big solution.
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who’s “Missing Romance” because her boyfriend of eight months isn’t romantic, never bought her flowers, and didn’t send a Valentine’s card (March 13):
Reader – “The only two times my husband bought me flowers was when I made him pay for my bridal bouquet for our wedding, and when he brought me flowers all on his own when our daughter was born.
“He has surprised me with a few gifts over the years, but most of the time I have to buy my own birthday and Christmas gifts if I want any.
“Nevertheless, we have been married for 34 years. My husband treats me with love and respect every day of our lives and we are very happy together, even without flowers.”
Happily Married Without Flowers
Romance can come in different forms - from visible gestures everyone can see, to daily gestures the partner feels. You’ve got the lasting kind!
Tip of the day:
Is an expensive dating/matchmaking service worth the cost? Let’s hear from Readers!