I've developed feelings for a life-long friend, who doesn't know; I decided to take it REALLY slow. Our families are great friends.
Meanwhile, my best friend ended a relationship, had a brief fling with another guy and thrust herself at my life-long friend.
He feels sorry for her - she lost her mom last year from a brain tumor, and lives with her step-dad, whom she hardly knows.
My two "friends" now talk all the time, even when I'm around, and I'm ignored. My guy friend told me he wants to be her boyfriend. Both of our mothers think he and I are the ideal couple, but we're too young to get into any relationship (I'm 16, he's 17). I agree.
However, I'm losing two great friends. I know I'm jealous, and I hate it. I've become depressed and angry, and I'm usually very cheerful.
- Deeply Hurt
Show them both what true friends are made of: put on your best smile (okay, it's an act, but the response you get will make it easier over time); and be your cheerful, caring self, but also spend time with other friends.
By taking the high road, you fight off the self-destructive effects of jealousy. You also keep both friends, but occupy yourself with others, too, so that you're too busy to listen to what's going on between them.
Your best friend is seeking comfort and attention, because of serious problems. She may not stay with your guy friend for long, during this unsettled time.
Your mother's correct about maturing mature before being in a relationship, so work on developing new friends, and on keeping old friendships even during rough patches.
Most of my family turned to born-again Christianity years ago.
Now, our son has separated from his wife and my family is supporting our daughter-in-law who was having sex with men on the internet, trying to "save" her.
It was her choice to date men on the internet; when confronted by our son she pretended to have a nervous breakdown.
Since my family has been showing forgiveness and affection, she now feels she's done nothing wrong. She's not a religious person and never will be. (She's getting psychiatrist help so she's getting the proper care.)
These people have used belts on their small children for little thing they've done wrong, but it's OK to instantly forgive this woman!
Our son has suffered pain and mental stress, but he isn't willing to try and forgive her because she should've kept them from interfering from the beginning. He told them to stay out of it, yet they've encouraged her to visit, phone, etc. They're also constantly inviting her to family functions.
It's understandable that you support your son and wish your entire family would feel exactly as you do. But your anger against anyone helping her regain emotional stability, is out of proportion, and unhelpful to your son. Showing that much judgment about others' interest in her - for whatever their motive - is also "interference."
Your son may privately wish to try to understand her but gets harsh unforgiving messages from you.
Your family's religious beliefs are their business; and the basic tenet of forgiveness is paramount in all Christianity.
If these relatives can "save" your daughter-in-law, and help her stay on a stable path while getting psychiatric help, isn't that a good thing?
As for invitations, your son's capable of finding out when she's invited and deciding about attending.
I'm a male, 23, who's never had a girlfriend and have little sexual experience. I meet many girls but I'm always too scared to pursue them, as I'm afraid I won't satisfy a woman in bed.
By this age, sexual experience is usually expected, isn't it? How can I get over this?
- Too Scared to Perform
You'd be surprised how much of your age group's so-called "experience" is either non-existent, extremely limited or based on occasional brief encounters.
What's important for your confidence in dating and starting and starting a relationship is to show a potential partner sincerity and caring. It's not about pursuing and performing; it's about building early intimacy through getting to know someone, then cuddling, kissing and letting Nature take its course.
For increased knowledge about sexual practices, I recommend reading the revised edition of the popular sex manual, The Joy of Sex, by Dr. Alex Comfort.
Tip of the day:
When jealousy strikes, work at rising above it rather than let it defeat you.