My partner and I each have three kids from previous marriages. Two teenagers of mine live with us, the rest live independently.

I see his youngest daughter, 23, three-to-four times a year. We live in different cities.
Every time my partner talks with, or about her, we argue about her. In my opinion, she's a spoiled princess.

My partner paid for her university tuition, and her mom is paying for her rent. Her dad still pays for her cell-phone bill, even though she works at a good-paying job!

The rent and tuition are not my business, decided before my partner and I were an item.

He accuses me of "hating" her.

I don’t, I just don't share the same love and enthusiasm about her as he does.

I don't have the same negative feelings towards his other children, who had different treatment (no paid tuition or bills).

However, I resent her (and him) for having the kind of relationship they have.

She can advise him on something about his health, or suggest a CD, and he absorbs everything she says.

When I say or suggest something equally legit, I'm either ignored or not deemed as valuable. I feel jealousy.

She’s sometimes snippy with him, even scolds him in public, and he’ll listen and obey. If I do that, all hell would break out.

It’s pathetic that I see her as a “threat,” but we’ve only been together for three years.

Whenever he mentions her, I try to stay neutral. But he’s never happy with my answers, or attitude.

When she’s around I’m never nasty. I’ve never resorted with him to saying nasty things to prove a point.

Yet he’s been unkind about my oldest son not having a part-time job. He has no right to speak negatively about MY kid!

How can I make my life less confrontational about this issue?

Reluctant Stepmother

Get a grip. He married you, and lives with you; his daughter’s only in your face four times yearly.

She’s the youngest, the one he likely feels guilty about regarding his divorce, and that’s common with many fathers who leave. She milks it, but you’re the adult who’s supposed to understand. And if you do, it’ll get easier.

The real problem is in your marriage. You’re insecure, because you two haven’t settled into being a team. You operate emotionally from separate bases.

You need couples’ counselling. Neither of you needs “fixing,” nobody is necessarily wrong (though you’re both lashing out childishly) but your still-early union needs repairs.

I’m a teenager having problems with a friend I met a year ago.

My parents don't like her, and I don't really either. She’s overly dramatic about every detail and gossips about people.

She’s also slightly obsessed with me, saying she “can't live without me."

But she says the same things to other people, and then drops them.

I have social anxiety so it's a very toxic friendship for me.

When I say I need space or try to "slip away" she threatens to self-harm or commit suicide, so I stay her friend.

Frustrated Teenager

Protect yourself, but be kind. Talk to your parents, since they know your needs and this girl’s ways, and can help you form a decent way of creating distance.

You may need to use a credible excuse like being overwhelmed by schoolwork.

If she threatens to harm herself, your parents may need to contact her parents to alert them,

However, since she’s been equally intense with others, and moved on, her threat may not be as serious as you fear.

I’m in Grade Nine, made a bunch of new friends, and am doing well in school. I’m even in with the popular crowd sometimes.

But so many girls in my grade talk about parties, getting drunk, and making out with some guy.

I haven't done any of that because I’m really busy as a competitive dancer.

I’m also more reserved around people I don’t know.

But I feel I should’ve already made out with a guy, and been to parties by now.

Scarred For Life

There’s no “right” age for party-going and drinking, but trust me, the more ability you have to make responsible decisions about how much to drink and which guy to trust, the better.

Competitive dancing is a wonderful activity. It gives you outer body strength plus inner confidence and grace.

You’ll have no trouble being popular when you’re ready for more socializing.

You’re not “scarred,” you’re successful at all you do.