My wife and I are together five years, married for two, both early-30's, and very much in love.
However, she suffers from a serious medical condition for which she must take medication the rest of her life. She’s otherwise healthy but the most significant side effect is depleted sex drive.
When initially dating, our sex life was very active. But over the last couple of years, it’s dwindled – e.g. happening only once in the last four months.
I love my wife with all of my heart. I've been 100% faithful since our first date, but in my past relationships, I had a bit of a wandering eye.
She's as frustrated as I am but we don't see a solution. She's afraid that I’ll eventually leave her, which will never happen, but I don't want my more primitive urges to get the better of me.

Flowers Don't Work

A serious problem, but one that love and determination can work around. Start a voyage of discovery with both her doctor and pharmacologist, asking about the condition’s effects as well as the drug treatment’s side effects.

Probe further: Are there other drugs with less affect on libido that can help? Can other drugs be boosted by alternative therapies – e.g. natural supplements, acupuncture, massage, etc? What are the possibilities for exercise, yoga, and other movement therapies?

Remember - all added knowledge may be useful, even without any relationship to having sex.

Your past “wandering eye” when younger and carefree has no bearing here. You’re wiser, committed, and in still-early stages of to living with this reality. There’s much to gain from exploring every way to manage it, and too much to lose from giving up.

My girlfriend’s cheating on me. What should I do?

You have no idea because you haven’t asked any questions. Ask her, Why? Is she looking for a way out of being in a relationship? Is she unhappy with your behaviour to her, or is she just not interested in being faithful?

If you get no solid or helpful answers, you then can ask yourself if you are able to trust her again. Do you even want to? Or, can you agree to work on things together, and acknowledge what you both need to change to make it last?

When you finish getting and giving answers, you’ll know what to do.

We’d dated for one and a half years when we took a break, got back together a month later, but didn't exactly say we were exclusive.

One night, while I was at his place, he left while I was showering, to go to someone else he was seeing.

I flipped, but they broke off, and I still stayed with him for another three months.

We broke up again and haven't had contact for several months. But he recently contacted me saying he wants to get back together.

I think I share something with this man, but I don't know if I can or should forgive and forget that night when he left me for another woman.

Confused About Him

He’s the one who “flips” from one woman to another. He does what he wants - sees others, keeps you on call, and reels you in for longer. It’s highly likely he’ll see someone else again, too.

What you share is an attraction, but not commitment and there are good reasons for you to have doubts. He’d need to prove his loyalty to you – while apart – for six months before you can even reconsider.

I visited my grandson, age three. He continues to sleep in a baby crib, uses diapers, is being fed in a highchair, and at night gets milk in his baby bottle. This concerns me very much.

His parents work full time and have a nanny with him during the day. He started pre-school, twice weekly for two and a half hours’ morning session.

I gently commented that he’s grown so much and could use a bigger bed. Two months later nothing’s changed. I’d appreciate your opinion on this.

Concerned grandmother

To ALL grandparents: You raised yours; parents have a right to raise theirs. UNLESS there’s abuse – emotional, physical, sexual – you can only make suggestions, backed up occasionally by research that advances thinking about child-raising issues.

Be supportive to the boy’s hard-working, busy parents, visit and build a rapport with all, but don’t undermine the adults and squander your influence when significantly needed.