I've been dating this single mother for four months and we're pretty serious.
Recently, she proposed that she, her daughter and I take a summer vacation together-to visit one of her ex boyfriends!! They were high-school sweethearts, dated for six years, broke up five years ago, but have remained close. She has dinner at his parents' house once a week.
I told her I wouldn't go because I didn't like the idea of going along to visit one of her exes. (He's not the father of her child.) I'm not keen on her going to visit him and said I'd feel like a bona fide fool.
I'd like to play the good boyfriend and be supportive of her relationships, but I draw the line, and I'm not cool with her going. Our philosophies on keeping in touch with exes differ; this example is touchy for us.
Is it fair of me to tell her I don't support her going?

- Bona fide

Honesty is not only fair but important, especially at this stage. Four months is still early dating in getting to know each other's limits. This is yours.
Many readers have already written to me their views on this topic, and it's definitely a controversial one on which people are divided. But you're upfront with her that it's not something you can easily accept.
Be prepared that with such a long friendship with her ex, and close contact with his parents, that she'll have her limits of what she can accept from a current boyfriend's attitudes. This could be a deal-breaker.

My mother always likes to help people.
Recently, she took in two teenaged sisters whose mother wanted nothing to do with them. They're loud, disrespectful, lazy and we feel they take advantage of our mother. They're constantly asking for material things and money. They don't obey house rules, but Mom won't listen to us.
She says we don't support her decision to take them in, and we're jealous.She's always in a bad mood because of something they've done but always wants to give them another chance because they've had a hard life.
We live in the same building - myself, two sisters and a brother - and all feel the same way but she'll not admit that she's in over her head.
What can I say to make her see our view?

- Concerned and Frustrated

Your mother needs as much positive attention as these troubled girls, yet feels she's only getting criticism from her family.
Be proud of her - our society needs more people who're willing to give time and energy to youth desperately needing support and security.
Yes, these teenage girls may be too much for her, but you don't help by negating her efforts. There are enough of you in the building to be helpful and get involved. Visit the girls, be role models, spend some time encouraging them with better behaviour.
Once Mom sees you're on side, suggest that she (and some of you) see a social service worker in your community who can help devise a program to work with the girls – e.g. recreational activities that engage their interest such as sports or the arts, education boosts, career planning, etc. A professional view on what's needed will be more easily accepted by Mom, and will be of great benefit to these young women.
I believe that getting somewhat involved and appreciating Mom more will be equally beneficial to your family.

My nephew's fiancée told me they're having a wishing well at their wedding. I think it's tacky.
Also, my nephew called because I'd replied to the invitation to me alone, that I'm bringing my boyfriend.
He said they didn't know about him.
I've been with him for two years, and have mentioned him, though they've never met him.
Wasn't he rude to ask about it?
What's the proper amount to give; can I give a gift instead or should I not go?
My nephew makes good money, and is paying for the wedding.

- Confused

You should've called your nephew, and asked if you could bring your boyfriend.
A couple paying for their own wedding are entitled to their own style.
Swallow your attitude, and politely ask if there's room for your boyfriend (double the gift).
Otherwise, go alone and give an amount of cash you can afford, with best wishes.