My fiancée and I fight constantly about how our time's spent. I have a nine-to-five job that pays the bills, and a part-time job that takes ten hours weekly - however, it's my passion which I can turn into a career within about a year.

She gets so mad at me working out of the house that I've cut back everything else - I see no friends, do nothing but work and come home to her, but that's not good enough for her.

She works nine-to-five then just sits at home waiting for me. She has no hobbies, no friends, doesn't do anything other than complain about what I do. She keeps saying how she gave everything up to move in with me in my city, but I don't think she's being fair.

I try to be understanding of her needs, but she's smothering me. I've put in too much time to quit my passion, especially now that I'm so close to realizing my goal. I don't think she'll ever be happy until I just give it up.

What can I do?

Wit's End

Turn it around, and tell her the choice is hers, not yours. She must've known about this passion, it's not a new love competing against your feelings for her.

Also, if it becomes a career, the benefits will be advantageous to both of you... that is, IF you don't let it dominate your life.

Her choice is whether she has faith in you and loves you enough to be patient, and to also start finding some interests of her own.

Explore with her in the most helpful ways, what those possibilities are - a course she's always wanted to take, a book or film club where she'd meet some friends, a gym membership, etc.

However, you need to be fair, too. Put a dateline on when you two will assess how things are going, after the anticipated year toward your goal. And if you achieve it, be prepared to re-assess how much of a workaholic you'll be once you're doing your dream job.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year but he wants to separate. I put the deposit on a home along with a substantial amount from my parents. I'd planned to do this long before I met my boyfriend of two years.

We split the mortgage cost paying $700 each per month, which is what he was paying for rent previously. I purchased the home in my name as my boyfriend had declared bankruptcy and had minimal funds to contribute ($10,000). He says I should've refused my parents gift ($100,000) and bought with him contributing minimal money. But we wouldn't have been able to afford the monthly payments. He insists it's

ruined our relationship and he can't get over it.

But I paid more money to purchase a larger home so his daughter who stays every other weekend could have her own room. I said the only difference it makes is whose name is on the title if we break up. If we stay together then the money from my parents benefits him.

Imbalance

There's a bigger imbalance than just money alone. He feels intimidated by his bankruptcy vs. your ability to get a big parental boost and live however you choose. It HAS ruined the relationship for him (and you don't mention love, either). Let him go, or sell this house and share what you both have on your own.

I am 51, dating a man, 41. But his mother's bothered that she's only 60. She's refused to meet me, over two years. She visited recently and he insisted on bringing me along. A disaster! Her greeting: "You don't look 50, but older than my son." She kept mentioning his other girlfriends and how everyone was younger (he says she found fault in all).

She even said it's "creepy" that she's only nine years older than me. He downplayed it, saying she only visits five times a year. Did I overreact?

Floored

The good news is that you apparently didn't overreact with her, but the bad news is she visits that often.

Tell your guy that you understand she isn't going to approve of anyone for him. He did the right thing by insisting she meet you, and now he must be equally clear that he'll not accept her bad-mouthing of you.