Eight months ago, I went out with this guy whom I met on a dating website. I really liked him, the attraction was strong, and he seemed to really enjoy me too. We were physically intimate.

A week later, he said he didn't see us working out long-term, and that he’d begun talking to other girls. I got very upset and sent him a very angry email. He said I sounded bitter and angry, and he told me to just move on.

I was really hurt because while I was with him, I really saw myself having a future with him. After that I tried meeting other guys, but it was really hard for me to become interested in anyone else but him!

I keep having this wish that he’ll come back into my life and we can be together, but I don't know if my thinking is even rational since he was very insensitive towards me and got over me so quickly.

Is there hope for us, or no hope? Will I find someone else and have the same strong feelings, or will I continue to only meet guys whom I have absolutely no interest in?

Hurt

I’m hoping everyone who builds a fantasy of a relationship from a first date reads this sad account, because you’re unfortunately the poster woman for self-inflicting emotional pain and imaginary loss.

It was ONE date! You slept with him (I’m sure he encouraged it, but you let it happen), based only on “he seemed to enjoy me.”

Even though the guy was scum to dump you right after a sexual encounter, there was no relationship and he’d already shown you his hit-and-run character. You daydreamed a future together, that’s all it was.

Now you’re denying his rejection and fantasizing. There is NO hope, and there shouldn’t be, for your own sake.

If you do have instant feelings with someone else on a first date, keep it to yourself, and keep your clothes on. Let the next guy show that he wants you for more than a one-night stand.

My daughter and her two children, ages six and eight, have lived near me for several years. I've been able to help her care for the children - picking them up from school and looking after them until she returns from work.

She’s now moving across the city, and I don't drive. But she doesn't have anyone else to look after the children, and can't afford after-school daycare or a baby-sitter.

She’s implied that she might not have any other option but to have the kids look after themselves. I reminded her that it’s illegal to leave children who are under the age of 12 unattended. However, she insists she can't afford to quit her job. I'm concerned about the children's safety. Any suggestions?

Beside Myself

She’s knowingly pushing your buttons. Nevertheless, she may find the costs of after-school care or babysitters too high for her income, so consider whether you can afford to cover a portion of it.

If not, look into the cost of getting to her place daily, whether by public means or an arrangement for a daily ride.

Leaving the children alone is unacceptable, dangerous, and illegal. She knows this. So insist that she come up with a solution, even if it means a job switch, or NOT moving. Be prepared that you or someone else may have to threaten to report her to children’s services.

One of my best friends goes on rants, and then changes her mind.

Recently, she ranted angrily about how she never wants to have children.

I said she’ll change her mind but she insisted, “NEVER.”

A week later, she said she wanted to have at least two kids.

I boasted that I was right she’d change her mind and she got really annoyed.

A similar thing happened previously and she attacked me back by listing everything she doesn't like about me. We didn't talk for a month.

Am I right to keep my distance from her awhile?

Difficult Friend

Three wrong decisions: taking her rant seriously, challenging it, and boasting you were right.

True “best friends” learn to handle the areas that create tensions. Example: She rants; you change the topic. She changes her mind; you listen briefly.

It may be that your need to be right makes this friendship even more challenging.