Dear Readers - Due to the large response to my live online chat last month on the topic of "Cheaters affecting a relationship," I'm devoting this column to answering some leftover questions when time ran out:

From your experience, do you think women or men cheat more? Who usually sparks the sexual relationships?

My questions come from a fairly balanced number of men and women who've been cheated on. The stereotype of the man who has an affair with his secretary is long gone, as women in the workplace, at the gym, or out dog walking, have access to meeting people outside their established relationships.

Your question on who "sparks" an affair is unusual and likely comes from a bias, since the fact is, it doesn't matter: It takes two to tangle, as well as tango.

I suspect my partner is cheating; should I check her emails or Facebook chats since she only ever denies it and regularly erases correspondence?

Start with a direct question and your reasons for your suspicions. Make sure these are reasonable, and not imaginings. If your own insecurity IS a problem, address that first... there must be behaviours she displays that make you feel unsure of her feelings towards you.

If you strongly feel she's lying to you, which in itself is a problem between you, even if there's no actual cheating.

For your own self-respect, only snoop into her correspondence if you are SURE you'll find evidence. Then, be prepared to end the relationship because you'll both no longer trust each other.

I'm moving forward with my husband (after his cheating) but still struggling. Do we ever finally get over the betrayal and feel happiness and trust again?

Many couples do get past an affair, but there's work to be done on both sides. You need to hear enough about what happened and why it happened so you can improve the relationship you two have (without graphic sexual details as those images tend to persist and interfere).

Counselling is often the best route to moving forward, IF he's honest during it, and you also reflect honestly on how you may've contributed to the unrest or frustration, etc. that he felt. That's not saying his affair was your fault.

How do I stop worrying that the cheating will not occur again? For example, I still search the computer to see if there are pictures, messages, etc. It runs my life, as I'm constantly worried about the "next time." I love him, we have a family, and everything was good until I found out about his infidelity.

This one is up to you: You can go on checking and worrying, playing the detective more than the partner, and the fears and distrust will NOT ever leave. OR, you can determine to not do those things, instead, to stay closely connected to him emotionally. Go to therapy together if it's still needed, let your intimate time together re-build and grow new meaning while you try new ways to express your love for each other in bed and in your daily lives.

A person shouldn't be having conversations with another opposite-sex friend, which he/she isn't having with their partner (different caveats for a same-sex relationship, obviously).

I'm a woman who was in a similar situation with an opposite sex friend and although I considered our friendship "safe" and "platonic," it eventually became clear that he did not. It's a very slippery slope and I wish I'd steered clear of it altogether.

My husband cheated many time but I never left. My feelings changed and trust is gone, though he says he's not doing anything now.

I've heard him say this before then do it again. I gave up. I want to leave but we have a son. Would giving him another chance be worth staying, for our son's sake? How do I know for sure that he's not cheating?

Of course, it's always worth giving a spouse a second chance, where children are involved. When it comes to the third strike or more, however, it's more than just a rigid ruling of OUT, it's often soul-destroying to stay.

Also, raising a child in a home without love, trust, or mutual respect, is not a healthy choice for any of you. Children soon detect the elephant in the room... and it lessens their respect for both parents, and affects their own relationships later.