I'm early 30's, living with a roommate for a couple of years. It helped me afford going to school in the past. Now I’m a working career woman while she's still in school, and doesn’t work in the summer.
I knew when I moved in with her that she had a cat. She soon bought a second cat. I’m not a cat person but I'm tolerant of them.
However, she's lately been gone frequently for several days’ trips at a time.
I don't mind taking care of her cats for a night or two, but she just expects me to be the cat-sitter while she's away.
I'm gone for work 8am-7pm Monday-Friday. I like going to the gym, visiting friends, staying overnight at my boyfriend's house.
Recently, she said she's going away for a week to the East coast.
When I said that I may not be around and she should get a plan B person while I'm at work/with my boyfriend/camping/etc, she got defensive.
She said she only has a couple of friends in town, both way too busy to check in on her cats.
We live downtown where it's not difficult for someone to stop by for 30 minutes to feed them and clean the litter box.
I don't think it's fair for her to use me as a live-in cat-sitter. I don't have pets because I don't want the responsibility.
Am I justified in feeling a bit used? Or is taking care of my roommate's cats five to seven nights a month just part of the responsibilities of being a roommate?
How do I tell her that I don't want to scoop her kitties' litter boxes anymore?!
You’re being used. Speak up. Occasional two-to-three day stints are part of sharing a home… but you still need to be asked.
If you were also planning to be away that weekend, she gets another friend or hires a cat-sitter (she can apparently afford the trips, so the cat is part of that expense).
I’m a young professional, late 20’s, with a strong career trajectory in Toronto who applied for an MBA (Master of Business Administration).
I applied to several schools close to home, with outstanding reputations in Canada, and also applied to “what if” schools in other regions in the United States.
I’ve worked extremely hard to study and prepare my applications, and have been accepted at all the schools where I applied, with significant scholarships.
Now I’m choosing between going to a school closer to family (we’re a tight-knit group), or going to the US.
The U.S. presents more exciting opportunities – riskier but more rewarding.
A Canadian school seems a safer choice since I can return to the company I work for after my graduation.
I’ve never lived on my own since I come from a background where kids stay longer with their parents than North American customs.
How do I realistically make a good logical choice?
Excited and Nervous!
Go where the opportunities and exposures are greater, also where the school’s degree unlocks the most doors.
The success which you’re sure to have, given your accomplishments so far, will also guarantee that your Canadian company will re-hire you if you decide to re-settle near your family later.
But this is your chance to expand your knowledge of the world and of your field in other major centres… exposure that will make you a valuable asset to companies in many locales.
Stay connected to family through Skype and email, but use the security they gave you to grow on your own awhile.
My boyfriend's younger brother has a girlfriend with a mean side.
Initially, it was aimed at my boyfriend. He’d ignore her.
She told him that he was stupid, to shut up, mocked him. I’d laugh it off just like my boyfriend.
His brother told me how mean she could be.
When she realized that I’m vegetarian, she’d tease or heckle me while I'm eating.
I noticed her always yelling, at the dog or the six-year-old girl in the house.
I want to tell her that I dislike like it when she tries to correct or control me or anyone else in the house when I'm around.
Should I confront her in a civil way? Or stay away from her?
Stay away, it’s a no-win situation with a mean-natured, domineering person.
More important, who’s the child’s parent? Make someone with authority aware of the emotional abuse which must be stopped.
Tip of the day:
A roommate who uses you, risks losing you.