My father was abusive in every way, damaging the lives of our family. I'm the only one who ever sought professional help.
My siblings have become abusive themselves. We're estranged but I've helped them when their well-being was threatened.
I'm my mother's caregiver – she's 81, physically disabled, with a terminal condition. She moved in with me years ago. I pay for her household costs, handle her errands, medical appointments, food prep, laundry, etc. My siblings occasionally call her, usually to talk about their own problems (marital, financial, etc.); they worry her.
Decades ago, Mom made me sole manager of her affairs. Recently, she was hospitalized and I discovered she's written checks to one of my siblings totaling $4,000 - a huge amount to her financial balance of $35,000. For such a pattern to continue my mother will be bankrupted within a year and her food, clothing, medical and incidental costs will fall to me, which I cannot afford.
I'm so upset by her being drained I'd like her to look after herself financially. But if I say anything, I'll rob her sense of privacy, or strip her of her independence and dignity.
I dread taking "control" of her affairs - it resembles my father's behaviour. But, if I do nothing, I'm enabling the abuse of my mother.

- Rock and Hard Place

It's not "control" to take power of attorney when a parent's being pressured for money she can ill afford. However, if your mother's mentally sound, she has a right to help her child.
Time for an adult-to-adult financial chat: Is Mom aware of her account balance and expenses? How does she expect to manage this money, and how will she respond to financial requests?
If she doesn't mention the check, say you discovered it accidentally. Talk about the consequences if she erodes her account for others' needs. Then, discuss the possibility of a legal arrangement with you in charge.

We recently married after dating eight years and living together; we bought a house, things are going well, but, with company, my husband's become a "big talker," a know-it-all who doesn't hear/let others speak and almost rants, whether or not he knows anything about the subject.
I'm flabbergasted, having never before seen this side of him. My family's also taken aback. They tend to be quiet and not flaunt themselves. My husband's family is naturally louder and outgoing.
He struggled through school and is finally "on top of the world." I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable but this is a personality trait I've always found distasteful in anyone.
How do I tell him without crushing his spirits?

- Embarrassed

Tell him you're proud of him for who he is, but you don't need him to be the "expert" on all things.
Explain that you admire his outgoing personality, but when he carries it too far, it shows insecurity, not expertise.
Say that spouses sometimes need to hold up a mirror to reflect unattractive behaviours… and lately, his over-enthusiasm for his own achievements are off-putting. Add that you hope he'll tell you if he finds something that you do needs reflection.
Then, suggest you both come up with a signal to catch each other's attention when one of these behaviours arise – a wink, or a nod, anything that works without embarrassing the other.
If there's no change in time, be straight-up frank with him – no company until he can share the air-time and stop trying to impress everyone.

I'm uncomfortable with my long-time friend bringing her married lover to my functions. He's not separated, but sneaking around… for years. I try to avoid functions they attend together. She talks as if they're a couple.
I don't want to condone such behaviour before friends, family or HIM, nor set a bad example for my children.
Should I confess this? It'll probably cost our friendship; I really like HER.
Or am I missing the full picture?

- Squirming

Ask the reason for the unusual openness of their affair, and acknowledge your personal discomfort. Say that you like her on her own, but question her judgment.
She may offer an explanation, or be offended and drop you. But you'd likely part ways anyway.
Remember, it's HER actions, too, that go against your basic principles. This shouldn't be about what others think of you but about what YOU find unacceptable, even in a friend.