I decided to date my best friend and high-school sweetheart, who’d been in love with me for six years when I wasn’t ready.
We started dating, and were happy. However, he’s immature, has anger issues, and I have my own faults.
We've never cheated; never hurt each other. But we broke up after ten months.
We promised to keep our friendship, but it turned into us periodically hating each other.
Recently, we made a truce and he treated me so perfectly and cute and cuddly. He’d call me his girl and say how much he missed me and would even cry.
Then he randomly stopped sending cute texts. When I asked why, he said he doesn't want to call me anything until we’re smooth and good.
He says he still likes me but I don't understand why he’d call me his girl, hold my hand in public with our friends, and then just stop. What do I do?
Not So Perfect
Call it a “break.” If he still wants to stay out of contact and with no changes after a couple of months, call it a split in which you’re both free to date others.
There’s still immaturity here on both sides, if you two couldn’t face up to and try to handle your differences during those ten months, or consider getting counselling together.
Unless his anger issues are the main problem.
If anger (or alcohol/substance use connected to the anger?) is the problem, you need a longer period apart in which he tackles these on his own and/or with professional help.
I'm 20, living with my parents, and trying to get my first job since I graduated high school. I live in a small town with a few businesses and have no car.
I've applied at these stores multiple times with no responses. Two of the stores accept only online applications through the corporation. I called another place every week, but the manager eventually yelled at me and hung up.
I'm trying to get money so I can buy a car, get my driver's license, and get money for college.
My family says I’m not trying hard enough.
I'm starting to get heavily depressed and angry. I'm not sure what's causing me to not get hired.
Jobless and Depressed
Since your town has limited businesses, and your education is limited to high school, you need to try to go beyond those limits and expand your opportunities.
Start with yourself. Upgrade your computer skills with an online course, also take an online business course for practical use. And develop any special interests you have with research into possible online workshops or courses – e.g. better math skills, retail sales techniques, and even another language.
Tell your parents you need time to make yourself more employable in such a small community.
Meantime, don’t hesitate to take on any part-time jobs that can give you spending money and get them off your case – tutoring young students, babysitting, doing errands for the elderly, etc.
Also, volunteer jobs look good on a resume and make your application more interesting among a pile of others.
Aim for what’s do-able, initially. A first job is to get you into the working world and learn how to conduct yourself well.
At this point, it’s unlikely to afford you a car. It’s a step on the ladder toward paying for college, which will open up more job possibilities, and a potential career.
I invited friends to a birthday party for my one-year-old daughter. One woman complained throughout, because the food I served wasn’t "gluten-free."
I felt badly for not serving her something separate, until she explained that she doesn’t have a gluten intolerance, she just wants to avoid eating it.
She even had the nerve to eat all the icing off a cupcake but leave the rest because apparently icing is gluten-free!
Am I supposed to ask guests what they can and can't eat in advance?
Guests with real food allergies will tell you about them ahead.
Some will even bring foods they can eat, rather than risk anyone making a mistake (especially if they’re dangerously allergic, e.g. having an anaphylactic response to some nuts).
Those who follow a food preference know how to avoid their no-no. But they have no right to complain if they didn’t request something else ahead, or bring it.
Tip of the day:
If love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, use counselling or a break to probe the problems.