Towards the end of three years together, I was unfaithful.

My girlfriend and I split up for a year, and I learned from her in a hurtful way of some of the guys she was seeing.

Her way of getting over me is to run to the next guy or go out partying. Now she’s admitted that her feelings are still there, but because of her family/friends she NEEDS to get over me.

I’m the only person who’s ALWAYS been there for her and she knows this. I’m afraid now that she’ll turn to more guys or alcohol to get over me.

I’ve fought and dealt with SO much to get her to face her feelings and this weekend was the first time I’ve seen her cry when discussing us.

So what do I do when I know the feelings are there, yet she’s telling me to let go?

I love her and I do see myself spending the rest of my life with her.

- Confused

Your having been being unfaithful isn’t my idea of being “always there for her.”

It seems her family and friends are trying to keep her from going back to a guy who let her down (you).

However, you’re correct that she’s not handling things well. As someone who says he loves her, start being her true friend and try to help her recognize that her drinking and promiscuity are self-destructive.

Don’t base your encouragement on her coming back to you, that’s just adding more pressure for her to decide what’s right.

Instead, help her see that looking after herself physically and emotionally should be her first concern.

If you can help her through this period, for her sake, you’ll have proven yourself worthy of being given a second chance.

I’m a high-school student taking an extra year of high-pressure courses before university; last year, I had a lot of problems, concerning my future and finances.

I’ve been frustrated and depressed and am now short-tempered.

My mother and I fight frequently.

She never listens. She’s been to a family therapist, has been prescribed medication, but she stopped taking it.

She frequently has fights with the rest of the family too, but while they seem to cope well, it's increasingly difficult for me. She’s neurotic, and swears at me whenever she's mad.

In return, I lash out and swear too. I can't stand emotional stress right now.

She’s a good mom but frequently so hard to deal with.

The rest of the family and I hardly ever fight.

I want to move out when I go to university, but my family can't help out and I also want to save money. But if I don't move out, I’m going to go crazy.

- Frustrated

Try to remove yourself from the areas and topics that cause you and your Mom to fight.

If you don’t have a private study area at home, go to the library.

If you have household chores, get them out of the way instead of delaying them.

Since your mother isn’t likely to change overnight – though she may eventually respond to therapy – you CAN do better if you change your reaction. Do NOT swear in return.

Instead, excuse yourself politely before arguments escalate.

If possible, seek a part-time job on the weekends or volunteer with youngsters at a community centre… it’ll lift the pressure you feel when at home, and help you re-focus on your studies when you return.

I dated a guy who I liked very much but due to things his friends said, and he listened so that he could fit in, he broke up with me and stopped talking to me.

I hadn't seen him for three years until recently.

We just stared at each other, then walked away.

I keep thinking about him and wondering if he still feels the same way.

Should I ask him how he feels and why he stopped talking to me, or forget about it?

- Curious

Three years later, he saw you when there wasn’t immediate pressure from his friends, yet he chose not to speak to you or connect in any way.

It’s over, period.

Pursuing him would only frustrate you and revive any old feelings of rejection. Besides, he apparently dropped you without hearing your side, and he cared too much about others’ opinions.

You can do better.