I’m 22 and have had yet another failure at finding love. I feel like I’m getting left behind in a lonely world.
My friends are all growing with the person they love and making beautiful families.
I’m the heartless Aunty who can't wait to get out the door once their baby starts to cry. I want to find my love, and settle down.
I hate worrying about finances and future stability, but I need to know that I’m going to be okay, and that my parents and siblings will be okay.
Yet, I feel I’ll never get the chance to start my own life.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Lost in Loneliness
To my reading, you’re a responsible young woman helping with your family’s needs for financial support and hoping for a chance to meet your own emotional needs.
It’s a natural longing for romantic companionship. And it usually comes to those who are open to it.
Having strong family values is to your advantage… the person who eventually loves you will have hoped for that very trait in a life partner.
The crying of other people’s babies sends you on your way not because you’re heartless, but because you’re not ready.
It’s the relationship you want – not just the picture of it - with time together before creating a family of your own.
Your age is a perfect time for recognizing what a fine person you are, and how much you want to meet the right person for you.
Meanwhile, make sure you have time for friends and activities so that life isn’t only about work. Being single doesn’t have to be lonely.
Value yourself, and have confidence that love will find you when you’re ready for it.
I’ve always butted heads with my very stubborn son, who’s now 23.
His father and I split up when he was age eight. He and his sister mostly lived with me.
He was never happy with house rules - mainly curfews, no underage drinking, or girlfriend sleepovers.
Once my kids were working, they were expected to pay a minimal rent to cover some expenses.
My son lived with his various girlfriends’ families instead, spending the odd night at my place or his father’s.
I suspect his current relationship will end soon. He’s sleeping at my house more and more.
He’ll buy and prepare his own lunches, often showers at the gym. Frequently, I give him dinner.
This situation’s unacceptable to my current husband. We have six children between us, ages 23-32, all the others live on their own.
My son has a huge car loan and feels rent isn’t an option. He always pays the loan, as well as his cell phone and insurance.
My husband feels it’s unfair that he can have sporty cars without responsibility for his housing.
We’re in our late 50’s and my husband says, regardless if he were to pay us rent, we should now have our own home to ourselves.
I understand, but I feel that I’m not being a good mother since he’s working and not relying on us for money.
All three of you need to make a plan based on mutual respect.
Your husband wants the house to yourselves. But throwing your son out is understandably difficult.
He’s only responsible to a degree, since he’s also self-indulgent with cars and loans.
Consider a group compromise: e.g. a four-month timeline for him to find alternative housing.
If he relies on another girlfriend, that’s his choice. Meanwhile, he can re-think cars vs. independence.
Recently, I was maid of honour at my best friend’s wedding. She was a terrific and easy-going bride.
It was still a time-consuming job and I believe I did my duties well. My issue is over my maid-of-honour gift.
She gave me the scarf she wanted me to wear at the ceremony.
After the wedding, she decided she wanted to take more pictures, realized she’d lost her identical scarf and asked to borrow mine for the photos.
Several weeks later, she still hasn't returned it. I don't want to ask for it back. But I'm feeling pretty hurt.
My husband says I'm being petty. I don't know what to say.
From an Introvert
A new bride and best friend can be forgiven. It’s not top of her mind.
Be easy-going and casual, just like her. Say, “Hey, I was hoping to wear my lovely scarf next week. Can I come by and pick it up.”
Tip of the day:
Stay positive about your self-worth and finding the love you want.