I'm a father of two (seven and five), divorced two and a half years, with joint custody, and a good working relationship with their mother.
Last year, I travelled alone to a sunny resort and found the love of my life, also divorced, who lived an hour away from me back home.
We’ve been inseparable since. When I don't have my kids, I stay with her. When I have mine, she and her son, three, are with me.
Now, she’s being forced to move across the country by her wealthy ex, who’s re-locating his business there.
She relies heavily on his child and spousal support to live. I do well, but not that well.
They were married 11 months; she caught him cheating while she was pregnant. Yet she still lets him call most of the shots about her life, likely because he holds financial power over her. She's already sold her house for the move.
I love her so much. Our families and children mesh well. We all went on a three-week vacation together.
I want to spend every last moment I can with her.
She's broken down multiple times saying that she doesn't want to leave me, but has no choice but to leave for her son's sake.
I can easily transfer my job out west, but I cannot leave my kids, whose mother is established here.
I don't see any options. Long distance relationships rarely work. We can't wait until our kids are all grown up.
Lost Without Options
t’s a new phase, not an end. If you both feel this strongly, you’ll have only a few years to work with the distance before you can make new plans.
Long distance can work for two people who are committed, who can obviously afford some travel back and forth, and who can take some extended vacation time to be together.
When her son’s in school full-time (age six), she may be working, and have more of an independent and equal voice with her ex-husband. He may be re-married and less dictatorial. Changes can bring more flexibility within just a few years.
Start working from hope, not despair.
I used to work where things were really stressful. I had anxiety attacks all day long.
Some co-workers found my triggers, and thought it fun to cause my anxiety attacks and watch. A manager was among them, though some managers tried, in vain, to stop it.
I left that department for a job in another area.
I should’ve left the company. Some employees in both areas were friends.
New people started triggering my anxiety attacks. People tried to build a case to get rid of me.
Three years later, while my attacks have decreased, the situation’s still difficult.
They still insist that they have to protect their department from me. I did document some things for my own protection.
I’ve been looking for other jobs but it’s a slow process.
Management’s aware of the issue but trying to protect the department’s reputation. Some people believe I have mental illnesses.
Is there any way I can repair my tarnished reputation?
Get to the root of the anxiety attacks, and get any helpful medications and behaviour strategies through medical and counselling help.
Change jobs as soon as possible. This company has become toxic for you (likely for others, too).
Meanwhile keep documenting the harassment and eventually go over your manager to the human resources department, and ultimately the labour relations board in your jurisdiction. Workplace harassment is unacceptable.
I’ve liked this guy for over a year. I see him around school. I've tried "flirting," make eye contact and smile (he makes eye contact and smiles too). He knows my name because he’s on the basketball team (my dad's the coach, and I'm the team manager).
I'm known as the shy girl-next-door type, and I get nervous around him.
How can I get him to talk to me, maybe even like me?
He makes eye contact, smiles, and knows you’re the coach’s daughter. He can’t know more unless you speak up, and start a conversation.
You have easy access by mentioning something about how well he played, the coming game, etc. He’ll respond and that’s when you need to say something beyond your role with the team.
If too shy still, practice with other guys who don’t make you nervous. Once you show more confidence in yourself, he’ll notice you more.
Tip of the day:
When mutual love is strong and committed, be proactive in finding relationship solutions.