I didn't feel like I was cheating. I was just responding to a boy I first met at 16, who contacted me over 30 years later.

We corresponded over several months and still got along very well… so well that his wife became fearful.

They invited my husband and me to visit, but were very cold and distant throughout the “approved” five-day vacation.

They even alienated us for being 15 minutes late from a walk.

I still feel profoundly hurt, unsure of why I was rejected again by the same person who’d reached out to me twice. He abruptly cut our communication off again unless it’s on his terms or at Christmas.

I’m still suffering the loss again of his friendship, seven months later.

He had the same affect on me 30 years ago.

Do I keep the friendship going, since he invited me to keep in touch with his new phone number and address?

Twice Rejected

Disengage. Staying connected “on his terms” means he’s using a different cell phone number and email address, to hide communication with you from his wife.

He’s trying to cheat, at least emotionally, and has hooked you on old stuff between you from your teens.

You’re 46, married to someone trusting enough to have accompanied you on the “vacation.” It turned into a disaster because his wife knows what he’s doing.

He hasn’t “rejected” you; he’s been caught fishing for trouble.

My sister left her husband and quickly started living with a man. He’s much older than she is and had been good friends with our father.

My sister was always very close with my parents; their approval’s very important to her.  They weren’t supportive of her divorce - she seemed to be suffering mental and emotional issues then, so they blamed the split on her. Now they’re livid about her new relationship.

They see this man as taking advantage of her. They all live in the same small town so our family’s become the source of gossip.

Over the past year, I’ve seen my sister very happy with this man. He’s very good to her, and a better match than her ex-husband. Her two children and her friends adore him.

My parents, however, refuse to acknowledge him and are very upset with her.

Even in public, if they see him, they’ll leave. Both my sister and her boyfriend have tried talking to them, but they won’t listen.

I hate being put in the middle of this split. My sister and her boyfriend are discussing getting married. I doubt my parents would attend, or that their family connection would survive that.

I'm now the mediator and unsure how to help my family heal. What can I do?

Discomfort in the Middle

Support your sister. She’s happy, and her kids are happy. That’s what family should be delighted about and supporting, despite any personal disquiet about age difference or local gossip (which would die if your parents stopped showing everyone their rigid disapproval).

Get out of the middle. Tell your parents that though you love them, you find their stance towards your sister sad and inappropriate. Though she wants their approval, her happiness as an adult woman and mother has to come first. That’s the normal cycle of life, not to be bound to pleasing parents, especially those who hold to prejudices.

Then stop mediating. When you invite the couple over, invite your parents too, and if they choose to stay away, it’s their loss.

I’m 22 and have never been in a long-term relationship.

I’ll be into a guy for a month or two, the attraction might still be there, but it’s mostly physical.

I had a very reserved childhood. Someone said that I might be a lesbian, but I’m not attracted to women, not in an "I wanna kiss you” kind of way.

What do you think? If I wanted to explore this side of me how do I go about it?

My Other Side?

It’s not unusual at 22 to not have had long-term relationships. It does not indicate being a lesbian. However, your question does show an interest.

IF you’re searching for a deeper sense of your own sexuality, do some research to know what the options include (lesbian, bisexual, asexual, and more). Also, consider if you have or have had feelings for any females that make you want to connect emotionally and physically.