My friend won't talk to me because I think he's making a mistake in whom he wants to marry.

He's 42, and gave up his career (post-grad education) as an Anglican minister for a girl, 19, from Sri Lanka.

I feel she only joined the congregation to get something. She attended for less than a year, and didn't join the youth group. Also, I feel he had an agenda that he wasn't honest about. I asked him out when I first met him. Even though he said no, there were other flirtations.

I believe she's a young girl who's scared about the future and saw a chance to manipulate an otherwise lonely man. It bothers me that she had no respect for the collar he wore. She and I have met. She wrote a letter about their future together. I wrote an email about how I felt about him and marriage, which got sent to him... it was embarrassing.

Upset

You're really upset because he rejected you for someone you feel is inappropriate. Unfortunately, it's made you come across as judgmental and uncharitable, especially for someone concerned about church values.

Even if he were to be taking a risk with her, he has a right to do so. The age and cultural difference may be the very things he finds appealing and refreshing.

If you want to regain the friendship, you'll have to accept her. Meanwhile, apologize for what you wrote, and back off.

I work at a large financial institution that promotes a very aggressive work environment. Recently, without their knowing it, I witnessed my boss punch my co-worker for making a mistake on a report.

My colleague never reported the incident. I'm assuming he was worried about losing his job in this sensitive work environment. Should I report it or just go on like nothing happened?

Uncertain

Document the date and details. Then think through whether you even want to stay in this company. If you can find work elsewhere, report it to the human resource department, with copies to several levels of bosses (you don't want the incident ignored.... this was a physical assault, which is a criminal offence.)

If you intend to stay awhile, tell your colleague you saw this happen, and that you'll support him as a witness if he ever reports it. Otherwise, keep your record of it, in case you need to use it later. If your boss gets physical with you, report immediately, and call police.

My ex-husband's abuse started after our second child was born. When he was three, I got a job, and my own place. It was hard. After six years, I fell in love.

I had a discussion with this man about a concern I had regarding his child. He yelled at me and told his child what I said. The child now looks at me angrily. I feel betrayed and disrespected; I'd thought our conversations were private. How can I have a relationship with this man whom I can't trust?

Scared and Scarred

You must be able to discuss each other's children, but diplomatically, as it's a sensitive topic.

If your own approach was abrupt, it may've caused his reaction. Discuss how the two of you can handle such confidences in the future. This incident alone doesn't warrant ending the relationship, but you need to talk to him about how you feel that trust is crucial. Couples' counselling will benefit you both and provide a forum for discussing your children.

Our daughter's husband left her for another woman. He has his girlfriend stay with him on weekends when the children - a girl, ten, and a boy, 16 - are there.

The girlfriend started giving things like jewellery to the girl. It hurts the mother and it bothers me. Of course the child likes it, and thinks it's cool. I think it's not ethical to do that, since he's still married. What can we do about it?

Annoyed

Don't focus your reaction to the affair and separation on this small matter. It's better that the girl like the woman who's there, than otherwise. And hope that she has more to offer the girl, emotionally, than just trinkets. The child needs stability, not interference.

How she adjusts now - and how her mother and grandmother help her adjust - is crucial to her wellbeing, and self-image through the adolescent and teen years.