I’m unsure of my 16-month dating relationship. When my girlfriend’s around my friends, she’s still not comfortable after all this time, to participate on her own within the group.

I feel like I have to babysit whenever we’re in these situations, even though my friends are always friendly to her and not closed off.

When we’re one-on-one our relationship’s normal, we get along well, and have our disagreements sometimes. Am I over-analyzing?

Unsure Boyfriend

Take a step back and try to understand what’s actually happening. Then, either you’ll accept her social behavior as shyness or insecurity, or see your friends’ responses differently, or possibly decide that she relies too much on you.

If she’s insecure around other people, this can drain your energy and feelings. Talk to her, listen to her, but be clear that you want an equal relationship, not one where she’s dependent on you. If she acknowledges discomfort socially, suggest she get counselling.

But also watch your friends to see if they’re truly inclusive. Ask one or two of the women friends you trust to help you out, by trying to bring your girlfriend into group conversations.

You don’t have to over-analyze what will become obvious, soon.

My ex-husband treated me poorly throughout our divorce i.e. not paying proper child support for years, telling me I'm an incompetent mother (I'm an excellent mother), etc.

My close girlfriend of 30 years knows that he’s very disrespectful toward me and that the situation between us isn’t amicable.

The other day at an outing we bumped into my ex and she had a very friendly conversation with him. This upset me greatly as I’d think a friend should support me by not acknowledging him.

Disloyal Friend

A sudden unexpected encounter can be awkward, with people not knowing immediately how they should respond. This woman’s been a friend for so long that obviously, at one time she was also friendly with your ex.

Should she have turned her back on him? Not necessarily. She could’ve been coolly polite, as opposed to “very friendly,” but I suspect she was caught by surprise and reacted as she had in the past when things were different.

If she’s been close, listens to your woes, doesn’t see him or have contact with him otherwise, she supports you. Tell her you’ll get over it, but couldn’t tolerate if she stays friends with him.

My friend has a daughter, three, whom she has a hard time managing. The girl is well behaved, but does things typical for her age and this irritates my girlfriend.

I’ve seen on numerous occasions when she loses her temper and swears at the child. Recently, she told her, "I'm going to throw you out the f… window.” I was trembling after this because I think she’s seriously crossed the line. What to do?

Upset Friend

You have a moral, and in most places, legal duty to report child abuse to your local children’s services or the police. If it sounds harsh to betray a friend, think how much more tragic it’d be for that emotionally battered child to be physically maimed or worse because you hesitated.

Your friend needs help, but the child’s helplessness before this level of anger and frustration, demands protection.

Even if you lose the friendship but save the child, that’s fine…. you’re not going to be able to stomach this woman much longer.

Call for an investigation and be clear that you’ve witnessed enough anger and threats to know they persist and have gotten worse.

I'm 14 and female. My parents are constantly fighting because my mother lost her job. We barely get by. They try to force me to choose between them (if they divorced).

Honestly, I think it’d be better, but we can't afford a divorce. I hate coming home because of the environment they've made. I love them both, but I can barely recognize who they've become. What should I do?

Torn Between Parents

Talk to them as calmly as possible. Say you know they’re going through a hard time, but you hate being put in the middle, and don’t want to be asked questions like that any more.

Tell them it’s making home an uncomfortable place for you. Ask them to try to understand each other and get along so they can work on their financial stresses.

If the situation’s affecting you at school, talk to a guidance counselor, principal or trusted teacher.