I’m male, and openly gay. I had my first "love" that lasted two years, but unfortunately we always fought, there were trust issues, jealousy, and stress from both. And both threw a few punches.
It was my first serious relationship and longest. I've been single since (six months), but we keep in contact. He says he still loves me and I feel the same. He wants to try one more time, as do I. But I don't want drama and jealousy.
Sometimes he tells me stuff he does with his friends and fortunately I learned to stop being jealous. But when I say how my weekend went, he gets jealous. Though I like clubs, I sacrificed going to clubs and stopped talking to some of my friends just because he didn't like them.
I really want to work this out. But how can I make him understand that I cannot fight this war alone? My friends say, move on, but it's hard.

Stuck with Past

You’re only “stuck” if you let yourself be dominated by his jealousy and control. Every couple makes adjustments regarding likes and tastes, whether in people or clubs.

But when one partner makes it impossible for the other to enjoy himself, and be himself, that’s when the fights worsen. Coming to physical blows was a loud alarm that there’s been way too much drama and too little mature discussion between you two.

He’ll likely agree to anything to get back together, but if you decide to try, you must set clear, agreed boundaries e.g. When either of you goes out with friends, there’s no interrogation afterward. If jealousy and distrust persists, it’s over, period. Your friends will help you move on.

And keep telling yourself this: A relationship that feels like a war, should end.

I was in a loving, caring, and tender relationship with my boyfriend of one year, when he suddenly ended things. He explained his feelings had simply changed, that he was no longer in love with me.

Shortly after, he began dating again, which just killed me inside. He was perfect for me in every way and I know that I was perfect for him as well.

It's been three months and I haven't been able to let him go. I’ve texted or called him at least every day.

Understandably, he’s gotten increasingly annoyed. Things reached a boiling point and he said I’ve screwed up any chance (if there was a chance) to see if we could work something out.

I’m now beyond devastated. My constant communication was only in the hopes that I could make him see how strong my love was and still is, and that I simply couldn't give up on us.

I’ve finally realized that I can no longer keep hurting myself for someone who doesn’t want me. I’m holding on to the slim glimmer of hope that one day he may find his way back to me.

Forever Pining

Sorry, this was NOT a perfect relationship. If he started dating so soon after, he’d already disengaged emotionally, beforehand.

While no one accepts rejection happily, a pursuit as relentless as yours indicates major insecurity. It’s likely this also showed in some ways during your time together. You even knew that daily-plus calls and texts for three months were annoying, but continued.

Continuing to “pine” for him is downright destructive to your self-esteem. Straighten your spine, and get pro-active in looking after YOU.

Counselling can give you some insights.

I finally got the courage to ask my crush out (a movie night). He said, “That night my buddy’s having a house party, you can swing by after work, instead..."
I didn’t answer, just told him to text me (he didn’t).

I’m 22, he’s 19, and we’ve worked together for two years.
I want to get to know him better but not in a party setting... things might get out of hand.

Is asking me to go to the party his way of rejecting me? Or pitying me? Should I ask him again if he doesn't bring it up at work? Or should I text him?

Next Move?

Asking you to a party is not a rejection, it’s an invitation, and there’s no “pity” when he’s open to your meeting his friends. You didn’t answer, so he didn’t text. Stop the confusion and suggest another night for a movie. Or go to the party.