I’m 25, and have been dating a woman for one month. However, I felt that she was hiding something. I discovered she was four years older than me, instead of two days younger.

She cooks for me, cleaned my entire place, and basically pampers me day and night.

When confronted with the truth, she denied repeatedly. Things crumbled and I asked her to leave. Then, she finally admitted the truth. Should I take her back or move on?

Deceived

Since you seem to be most interested in having a caregiver/cleaning lady, age shouldn’t matter much.

But if you want an equal relationship with mutual pampering, age still does NOT matter, but honesty does.

Give her a second chance, ask why she lied. If her reason was embarrassment or fear that it’d matter to you, that’s a reason you can get past.

However, be clear that being open and honest with each other is essential from now on. Say that if she has any other secrets to reveal, to do so NOW. Remember, you too have to be open and honest in return.

For future reference, I need advice on the etiquette of gift giving.

Christmas in my family, growing up, was really a time of joy, excitement, and happiness. Even as young children, my sisters and I would get more excited about what gifts we’d surprise each other with, than the gifts we’d receive.

Skip ahead 35 years, Christmas has become a stressful event I dread. My husband and three children spend one holiday day with his family, exchanging gifts, and having dinner.

With 11 grandchildren and three cousins, it resembles a shark feeding-frenzy. Kids tear open gifts, often not looking to see whom it’s from, and never saying thank-you.

Although my own kids now say thank-you, I’ve seen the teenagers open gift-cards from me (from their favourite stores) only to not say a word and open the next gift.

My blood pressure rises just thinking about this ungrateful behaviour, which I find very rude. Many of the adults present also often don’t thank anyone.

This past season, on advice from my husband’s brother’s wife, I decided to email the whole family to solicit interest in simplifying, with name draws for both the adults, plus having each child draw one name of one of the cousins.

I received no answer. But my husband received very angry emails from his sisters criticizing my ideas and insisting on buying gifts for all 14 children. They were furious that I suggested any change to Christmas.

Post-Christmas Frustration

Now is a good time to plan ahead, when it’s not close to the holiday.

Start with understanding that this “frenzy” scene is their family’s tradition, which they expect and enjoy. While stress on manners and thank-you’s in your household is admirable, it’s hard to impose change on what’s been accepted in others’ households.

Materialism at Christmas is pretty hard for teenagers to avoid, when the sales hype starts over a month ahead. So, if you’re buying for them, set a price budget you can afford, go for items or gift cards you know they’ll love, and assume that they at least know that gifts come from their close family.

Write a gentle and thoughtful email to the sisters explaining that you only suggested simplifying the process for everyone’s sakes, as buying gifts for this growing crowd can become financially and physically more difficult for ALL. Ask for their suggestions. If nothing changes, accept it. And do differently within your own side.

What help is there for someone who hates their physical appearance so much it makes them depressed, irritable, and not go out with friends?

Her self-esteem is low, her self-worth next to nothing. She isn’t obese, but hates her face, and wishes she were thin though her body weight isn’t fat.

She’s being treated for hypothyroidism but hates her life, and hits her stomach in anger and punishment. She hates her face because it’s so puffy, and she’s angry at how ugly she thinks she is. Is there free help, as she isn’t covered?

Terribly Worried 

Help starts with her getting pro-active, and anyone close helping her. She needs to seek full information from her doctor and pharmacist as to hypothyroidism’s effects and it’s treatment’s effects.

She needs support from close family and friends who also get informed. And she needs affordable counselling or that provided through hospital and health-care services, which her doctor can recommend.