My wife and I married at age 24. 

She already raised a child alone for three years, and we now have a child together.

Two years into our marriage, she feels like she doesn’t know whom she is anymore and that she’s missing out in life. She sometimes wants to go back to her old life, yet doesn’t want to give up her current life.

She’s in texting contact with a friend from her past, though I don’t know to what extent.

I understand her pressures - she works full time in the medical profession and my work with the government takes me way for days, sometimes months.

She’s a great Mom, but family members and I have recently seen personality changes. It’s now affecting our intimacy.

I’ve suggested she see a counsellor or her family doctor but she refuses; she thinks it’s a load of crap and that she should just toughen up.

I’m going to talk to a professional tomorrow, but I’m at a loss for action.

I’ll stand by her, but there’s only so much I can bear before it affects me as a father and as a person.

- Worried

Your wife could be on the verge of a breakdown and needs your full support. 

Seeing a counsellor yourself is wise. You should discuss the kinds of personality changes you’ve noticed and also call your family doctor, and ask what to do if she appears seriously depressed.

This situation may require several approaches, including your taking a leave of absence from work, or at least from being away from home for days or longer.

You may also need to get household/babysitter help from family if possible, or from hiring someone who can relieve your wife for periods in which she can get out for recreation, fitness activity, or time for herself.

She’s buckling under the pressure of too much responsibility alone.

Once she gets help from you and sees your willingness to make her your priority, she may loosen up enough to realize she too needs some professional guidance.

I’m separated and get along fine with my son’s father and his girlfriend; have amicable relationships with neighbours, and co-workers. Yet I cannot maintain long-term relationships with potential partners. 

I’m inflexible in what I desire in a partner.

Now, I’ve been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It’s diminished my activities, and makes walking difficult. I can still cycle and hike, but I’m restricted to early morning when my energy level is best.

I’m doing everything I can to maintain a healthy attitude and lifestyle.

How would any active man ever see a future with someone who may eventually not be able to walk?

How can I meet someone who can understand and also let me be a support system for him?

I greatly desire companionship, yet am lost to divulge my condition, even if it’s visible.

- Obstacles

You’re thinking in barriers, instead of about how to overcome them. Example: If you don’t divulge and discuss your condition, how can anyone show understanding? 

Call your local branch of the MS society and get fully informed about your condition; and join a support group. Through meeting others who live with MS, you’ll learn ways to help family, friends and potential partners know what to expect.

You also need to learn how to let them be part of your life. Otherwise, maintaining a rigid approach to dating will add to your stress, which is something to try to avoid whenever possible to best cope with this condition.

I met my boyfriend of three years through a dating service. 

We’re supposedly in a committed, monogamous relationship. But I’ve discovered he’s been searching the dating site every since we got together.

He’s also been seeing his old girlfriends behind my back.

He expects me to understand.

I’ve never met any of his ex-girlfriends.

He claims he just wants to be with me, but I’m having a hard time trusting him.

- Restless

You have good reasons for doubts. His searching the dating site reveals this guy’s casual attitude toward commitment - he’s with you, but keeping an eye on whom else is worth considering. 

His sneakiness in seeing his ex’es is also telling you that he keeps his options open with these women.

Unless he introduces you to the one or two he wants you to consider as friends too, and stays off the dating site, drop him; he’s a player.