My boyfriend of nearly two years is 22, I'm 21.We both attend community college and live together.

We both planned on next attending a four-year college out west. However, I've been offered an exciting opportunity elsewhere.

Instead of being happy for me, he was instantly hurt and upset that I even considered leaving his side.

I'm worried because I planned on being a foreign exchange student regardless of the school I attended.

While I think he's a great guy and I do love him, I'm not sure if our current values are the same.

I want to travel the world while I'm young. He's ready to settle down and get a house. Perhaps we met too early in life. I'm not sure if I should stay with him, because I don't want to hold myself back in life.

Different Values

Your different ambitions have become clearer, since you’re on the brink of opportunities and change.

You should’ve known that your news would upset him. Don’t hold yourself back, but you could learn to be more diplomatic in future relationships.

If you present self-interested moves as a point of discussion, a partner gets to have some input, and may even support the move and find a way to stay connected.

That said, you’re young and have a right to your own dreams, goals, and opportunities.
Try to be compassionate about his feelings, even though you should accept this offer if it’s as good as you think.

Suggest ways to try being long-distance. He needs to think there’s a chance. Also, there’s the possibility that moving to college on his own, will spark new ambitions in him.

I was recently diagnosed with cancer so this has been a hard year on us emotionally, and especially financially.

My friends and family are aware of this yet haven’t offered help. No one has brought over a meal, or even given me a hat or scarf for my bald head.

I didn’t expect them to organize a fundraiser to pay my medical bills, but a simple phone call or maybe a gas card would’ve been much appreciated.

They’re so much better off than me financially; they go on nice vacations, to the spa, out to fancy dinners. I’m so hurt that virtual strangers and lesser friends have stepped up to take me to chemo or give me flowers from their garden.

It’s hard to accept that the people I cared so much about obviously don't feel the same way about me. Should I confront them?

Not Much to Lose

Reach out instead of hurting inwardly. Cancer is frightening territory even for many non-sufferers. They don’t know how to talk about it, don’t want to cry and depress the sick person, and have fears of the unknown.

Some of these once-close family and friends who’ve disappointed you, are unsure what to do.

Call or email personally, and give a brief update: example, I’m following the usual regime, doing my best to stay positive, sometimes down, miss you. Don’t depend on social media to attract their interest… a group Facebook message gives the impression you have lots of people around you.

As for financial help, your silence on the matter doesn’t work. If you have family who can afford it, be upfront about requesting a loan rather than sit on resentments.

For your health’s sake, do whatever you can to relieve stress, and avoid diverting your energies and spirit to negative thoughts.

The woman, whom my father started dating shortly after my mother’s death, HIT our niece (his granddaughter) when she got frustrated with the girl’s crying. Dad was out of the room, but we saw it.

She lied in front of Dad that it was an accident. She then admitted to it, saying it was just a little slap on the arm.

My dad defended her, saying she hasn’t been around kids in a while and doesn’t know how to deal with them.

We told him that we’ll never allow her to be around our children again.

We’re angry and want him to see how mean she is. She even told my two-year-old to move off the couch while she watches her show.

Disgusted

IF your Dad’s determined to stay with her, try to befriend her and talk to her about handling children gently. Should another incident occur, tell Dad it’ll interfere with his seeing his grandchildren, unless alone.